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Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.9

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? v. 9
Now a day, media have become one the major pillars of any democratic system as it covers all aspects of life. We often see celebrities like Politicians, Actors, Models and Players on television, radio, Facebook and newspapers. Many people are of the view that famous people are treated unfairly by the media because of excessive coverage and privacy should be given to them. Whereas, some refute this concept and proclaims that it is the price of their fame. Both points of view will be discussed in order. On the one hand, we always find electronic, print and social media on toughs to cover maximum information about celebrities. Therefore, whatever they do is always in the news. Thus, they are left with no privacy whatsoever. For example, the media have always been after the Politicians, whether, they are giving a speech, going to a talk show or on the way to a family trip. Furthermore, the same is the case with Actors and the Models. Likewise, the media are being always there to capture them, if they are on the shooting, off the camera and even in commercial markets or other public places. Moreover, it is often witnessed in the Pakistani media that the news of celebrities' personal lives is on aired without getting it endorsed from that particular celebrity. On the other hand, It is believed by many that almost every person in the present society wants fame and publicity. In addition, it can be explicitly seen in auditions for acting, as thousands of candidates used to stand in lines to be on camera. Certainly, most of the people desire to be in the news, so that the public might renown them. For example, Pakistan Idol a singing reality show launched by a leading media house that was Geo News a couple of years ago. Consequently, more than 500, 000 youngsters approached for auditions. In other words, everybody wants fame, no matter how much sacrifice he/she has to make. Nevertheless, the people who become famous may not claim the privacy from the media as they have adopted this choice by themselves. In a nutshell, after analysing both perception, In my opinion, people work for their lives for glamour and fame and once they get it, then, they should not avoid excessive media coverage as its primary job of the media to give importance to the celebrities of the country. Though, It is recommended that the media should also be careful and must not indulge in personal lives of celebrities because they are human beings as well.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
a day,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have become one the major pillars of any democratic system as it covers all aspects of life. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
like Politicians, Actors, Models and Players on television, radio, Facebook and newspapers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the view that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are treated
unfairly
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of excessive coverage and privacy should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to them. Whereas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
refute this concept and proclaims that it is the price of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fame
. Both points of view will
be discussed
in order.

On the one hand, we always find electronic, print and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
on toughs to cover maximum information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
.
Therefore
, whatever they do is always in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
Thus
, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with no privacy whatsoever.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have always been after the Politicians, whether, they are giving a speech, going to a talk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
or on the way to a family trip.
Furthermore
, the same is the case with Actors and the Models.
Likewise
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are being always there to capture them, if they are on the shooting, off the camera and even in commercial markets or other public places.
Moreover
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
witnessed in the Pakistani
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of celebrities' personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
is on aired without getting it endorsed from that particular celebrity.

On the other hand
, It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that almost every person in the present society wants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fame
and publicity.
In addition
, it can be
explicitly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in auditions for acting, as thousands of candidates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to stand in lines to be on camera.
Certainly
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
desire to be in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the public might renown them.
For example
, Pakistan Idol a singing reality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
launched by a leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
that was Geo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
News
a couple of years ago.
Consequently
, more than 500, 000 youngsters approached for auditions.
In other words
, everybody wants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fame
, no matter how much sacrifice he/she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
.
Nevertheless
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
may not claim the privacy from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
as they have adopted this choice by themselves.

In a nutshell, after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
both perception, In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
for glamour and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fame
and once they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it, then, they should not avoid excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
coverage as its primary job of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to give importance to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
of the country. Though, It
is recommended
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should
also
be careful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not indulge in personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are human beings
as well
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
426 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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