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Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.3

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? v. 3
To be a superstar the media plays a vital role in the industry, which has many pros and cons hidden. Some people believe that the famous people get the best benefit of the media, whereas, many people feel that it actually hampers their personal life. This essay will discuss about both the views and my opinion over this. Actors, sports person, leaders and other famous personalities are always in the media. Every reporter wants to cover their every move and views, and want it to telecast first on their channels to get more TRPs. According to the channels requirement, they telecast those scenes which looks apt to them. Nevertheless, knowing about the reality, they easily change and even edit the recordings and create a new meaning out of it. Therefore, it not only deteriorates the carrier of the celebrities and even create controversies against them. The life's of the superstars are full of every single person who wants to know about their personal life and follow whatever trend they are following. But somewhere people forget that they are humans too, and they have a right to get a personal space from the fame and filmy world. Every celebrity has their own personal space and a different lifestyle, friends and family. In my opinion the public, as well as the media should understand the value of this personal space, because continuous coverage of media will only create a sort of interference in their life. To conclude, the media industry should be fair with the lives of the superstars. Instead of acting selfish and paraphrasing the reality, they should show the reality to their fans. In addition, they should understand that fame only standstill the platform they are working on, and the money they are getting paid for is not to showcase their personal life's to the general public. Therefore, they should respect their personal space and not follow them where ever they are going.
To be a superstar the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
plays a vital role in the industry, which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pros and cons hidden.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the best benefit of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, whereas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that it actually hampers their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
life. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss both"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about both
the views and my opinion over this.

Actors, sports person, leaders and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personalities are always in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. Every reporter wants to cover their every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
and views, and want it to telecast
first
on their channels to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
TRPs
. According to the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "channels'" or "channel's"?
channels
requirement, they telecast those scenes which looks apt to them.
Nevertheless
, knowing about the reality, they
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and even edit the recordings and create a new meaning out of it.
Therefore
, it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
deteriorates the carrier of the celebrities and even create controversies against them.

The life's of the superstars are full of every single person who wants to know about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
life and follow whatever trend they are following.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
somewhere
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
forget that they are humans too, and they have a right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
from the fame and filmy world. Every celebrity has
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
lifestyle, friends and family. In my opinion the public,
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should understand the value of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
continuous coverage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
create a sort of interference in their life.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
industry should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the superstars.
Instead
of acting selfish and paraphrasing the reality, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the reality to their fans.
In addition
, they should understand that fame
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
standstill the platform they are working on, and the money they are getting paid for is not to showcase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
life's to the
Consider using "public".
general public
.
Therefore
, they should respect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
and not follow them where ever they are going.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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