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Anyone can post information on the internet. Some people say most of what we read on the Internet is inaccurate. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Anyone can post information on the internet. Some people say most of what we read on the Internet is inaccurate. v. 1
Due to the modern world, some countries have to face up with a significant increased in the number of people who became overweight and their healthy condition also their fitness level are declining. This essay will analyse the reasons why these problems have raised and some steps can be taken to limit them. The first problem to explain to the rate of overweight is growing is changes in people's diet. Most of people prefer fast food which contains rich in sugar and fat, such as chips, fried chicken, . . . Rather than nutrition meals with vegetable. And as a result, it ends up in their body tons of food that properly lead to overweight. Secondly, the attributed to the lack of exercises that people taken. Due to the tougher business and longer working hours, they have to wake up very early in the morning to go to their workplace and not come back home until late night. Consequently, most of these people stuck with bad health problems mostly is obesity. However, there still be numerous things for people solve these problems. One of the ways is changing their main mean of transportation. For example, using bicycles to travel to work or walk instead of driving. The other way is to be more selective in choosing their diets. There should be an avoidable in consuming fast food since they contain a lot of high cholesterol ingredients which can damage their bodies badly. Therefore, it's not only make people improve their own health career, but also eco-friendly without any needs of medicine. In conclusion, higher rate of overweight has been frequently because of the greater availability of fast food and factors that prevent them from taking physical exercises. Body weight increased is mostly caused by the unhealthy lifestyles and it's never seen to have any benefits. Overweight is a healthy risk which brings a lot of harm, so people should take action from now to protect their own health.
Due to the modern world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face up with a significant increased in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who became
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
and their healthy condition
also
their fitness level are declining. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the reasons why these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
have raised and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps can
be taken
to limit them.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
to the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
is growing is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's diet. Most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which contains rich in sugar and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, such as chips, fried chicken
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Rather
than nutrition meals with vegetable. And
as a result
, it ends up in their body tons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that
properly
lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
.
Secondly
, the attributed to the lack of exercises that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
taken. Due to the tougher business and longer working hours, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wake up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early in the morning to go to their workplace and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back home until late night.
Consequently
, most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stuck with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
mostly
is obesity.

However
, there
still
be numerous things for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. One of the ways is changing their main mean of transportation.
For example
, using bicycles to travel to work or walk
instead
of driving. The other way is to be more selective in choosing their diets. There should be an avoidable in consuming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
since they contain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
high cholesterol ingredients which can damage their bodies
badly
.
Therefore
, it's not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
health career,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
eco-friendly without any needs of medicine.

In conclusion
, higher rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
has been
frequently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the greater availability of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and factors that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from taking physical exercises. Body weight increased is
mostly
caused by the unhealthy lifestyles and it's never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to have any benefits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Overweight
is a healthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
which brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
harm,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take action from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to protect their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
health.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Anyone can post information on the internet. Some people say most of what we read on the Internet is inaccurate. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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