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Animals should not be used for entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.1

Animals should not be used for entertainment. v. 1
Entertainment by animals should be stopped. I completely agree with the statement. We cannot employ anyone without their consent for our pleasure. Not only animals are being taken from the wild, but also forcefully trained to amuse us. Animals are essential part of the ecosystem. Their life was destroyed when we force them to live in cages instead of in the forest. They also have feelings, they also feel pain and loneliness. What if you are taken away from your loved one? How would you feel? Imagine that you are a small bear cub one day you are roaming in the mountains and eating berries along with your mother and siblings. Suddenly, you hear footsteps and then gunshot which taken down your mother. She was given to dogs and you and your siblings were tranquillized, chained and caged. When you wake up you are in the cage. You are forced to spend days and nights here without knowing that your siblings are alive or not. Animals in the circus are trained with extreme discipline such as whipping, pocking and shocking. They are forced to sit on the chair, jump through the firing wheel, walk on two feet etc. The horse is trained for racing purpose. They are being hit continuously to run faster for entertainment as well as earning purpose. Sometimes, animals get injured and many times they were killed when they are no more useful. In conclusion, we should stop using animals for our pleasure. After all, they also have family, they also have feelings, they also have life and we have no right to destroy anyone's life
Entertainment by
animals
should be
stopped
. I completely
agree
with the statement. We cannot employ anyone without their consent for our pleasure. Not
only
animals
are
being taken
from the wild,
but
also
forcefully
trained to amuse us.

Animals are essential part of the ecosystem. Their life was
destroyed
when we force them to
live
in cages
instead
of in the forest. They
also
have feelings, they
also
feel pain and loneliness. What if you
are taken
away from your
loved
one? How would you feel? Imagine that you are a
small
bear cub one day you are roaming in the mountains and eating berries along with your mother and siblings.
Suddenly
, you hear footsteps and then gunshot which taken down your mother. She was
given
to dogs and you and your siblings were
tranquillized
, chained and caged.
When
you wake up you are in the cage. You
are forced
to spend days and nights here without knowing that your siblings are alive or not.

Animals in the circus
are trained
with extreme discipline such as whipping, pocking and shocking. They
are forced
to sit on the chair, jump through the firing wheel, walk on two feet etc. The horse
is trained
for racing purpose. They are
being hit
continuously
to run faster for entertainment
as well
as earning purpose.
Sometimes
,
animals
get
injured and
many
times they
were killed
when they are no more useful.

In conclusion
, we should
stop
using
animals
for our pleasure.
After all
, they
also
have family, they
also
have feelings, they
also
have
life and
we have no right to
destroy
anyone's
life
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Animals should not be used for entertainment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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