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An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems do this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? v.8

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems do this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? v. 8
Developed countries has seen a rise in the number of professionals from poorer ones looking for job opportunities. This essay will suggest that the main problem this cause of the stagnation of the economy and propose that the government should subsidize well-trained workforce in order to make them stay as a possible solution. The major problem encountered by poorer countries due to the brain-drain is that the economy subsequently stagnates. This made it difficult for less developed countries to improve the economy as well as living standards. Due to lack of skilled professionals, their citizens struggle to get high levels of education or health services. For example, a recent survey conducted by the United Nations revealed that the literacy rate is low in underdeveloped countries due to shortage of teachers. As a result, this will weaken their ability to compete on a global scale and to attract investors, and finally escape from poverty. One possible solution to tackle with skilled workers leaving their countries is for the government to offer subsidies to encourage them to stay. For instance, the government can offer better salaries and additional financial support to professionals in order to entice them back to their won country after they have finished their training abroad. However, it’s fairly likely that the poorer government would be seen an increase in financial demands. In other words, the less developed nations have to seek funding from developed countries for subsidizing the skilled workforce. In conclusion, if the government offered professionals financial incentives such as subsidies, there would be less well-trained employees leaving their homeland for better living conditions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a rise in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
from poorer ones looking for job opportunities. This essay will suggest that the main problem this cause of the stagnation of the economy and propose that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should subsidize well-trained workforce in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them stay as a possible solution.

The major problem encountered by poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
due to the brain-drain is that the economy
subsequently
stagnates. This made it difficult for less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the economy
as well
as living standards. Due to lack of skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
, their citizens struggle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high levels of education or health services.
For example
, a recent survey conducted by the United Nations revealed that the literacy rate is low in underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
due to shortage of teachers.
As a result
, this will weaken their ability to compete on a global scale and to attract investors, and
finally
escape from poverty.

One possible solution to tackle with skilled workers leaving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to offer subsidies to encourage them to stay.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can offer better salaries and additional financial support to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
in order to entice them back to their won
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
after they have finished their training abroad.
However
, it’s
fairly
likely that the poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
an increase in financial demands.
In other words
, the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
seek funding from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for subsidizing the skilled workforce.

In conclusion
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
offered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
financial incentives such as subsidies, there would be less well-trained employees leaving their homeland for better living conditions.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems do this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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