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An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? v.12

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? v. 12
Migration has seen an upward trend in the past few years. Professionals like Engineers, Doctors & Teachers are relocating to developed countries. This essay points out the various adverse effects of these and what could be done to counter such ill-effects. Out of many reasons why educated youth emigrate from their home country is lack of jobs, underpay and infrastructure. Sometime the cost of living is a reason for moving. One research claims that amongst all the respondents about 67% of potential migrants believe they deserve a better standard of living. Interestingly, low civic sense of neighbourhood also drives people to escape to developed countries. One of the predominant problems faced by the home province is an economic drain as the number of taxpayers is reduced, though on the other hand it is improving the lives of the family that moves out. The other effect of this exodus is that the citizen of the country who welcome migrants erratically feel that outsiders are eating up their share of earning opportunity. Another plausible way to counter is by making basic amenities as semi-government. In this way the pay and framework both can be improved. The government should make developments and increase the earning opportunities people living in tier II & III cities which would balance out the economic slowdown due to semi-privatization of medical, education sectors. To add to this, the government should ease the norms to let unorganized markets become organized. This move would increase the economy, which can be diverted to building better infrastructure for schools, hospitals and public transport. To conclude, if a country manages to increase the government’s revenue it will indirectly bring down the number of migrants as all the money will be channelled to the overall development of basic infrastructure.
Migration has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
an upward trend in the past few years. Professionals like Engineers, Doctors & Teachers are relocating to developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This essay points out the various adverse effects of these and what could
be done
to counter such ill-effects.

Out of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why educated youth emigrate from their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is lack of jobs, underpay and infrastructure. Sometime the cost of living is a reason for moving. One research claims that amongst all the respondents about 67% of potential migrants believe they deserve a better standard of living.
Interestingly
, low civic sense of
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
also
drives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to escape to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
.

One of the predominant problems faced by the home province is an economic drain as the number of taxpayers is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, though
on the other hand
it is improving the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the family that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
out. The other effect of this exodus is that the citizen of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
who welcome migrants
erratically
feel that outsiders are eating up their share of earning opportunity.

Another plausible way to counter is by making basic amenities as semi-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. In this way the pay and framework both can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
developments and increase the earning opportunities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in tier II & III cities which would balance out the economic slowdown due to semi-privatization of medical, education sectors. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the norms to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
unorganized markets become organized. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
would increase the economy, which can
be diverted
to building better infrastructure for schools, hospitals and public transport.

To conclude
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
manages to increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s revenue it will
indirectly
bring down the number of migrants as all the money will
be channelled
to the
overall
development of basic infrastructure.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? v. 12

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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