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An increasing number of developing countries are expanding their tourist industry. Why do you think it is the case? And do you think it is positive? v.1

An increasing number of developing countries are expanding their tourist industry. Why do you think it is the case? And do you think it is positive? v. 1
A large number of underdeveloped nations are promoting their tourism sector. I believe this trend aids to the country' s economy, which is definitely a positive progression. To begin with, more tourists means that it will boost nation' s economy. When large number of people visit a nation to see tourist attractions then they use various facilities such as local transport, hotels and restaurants. As a result, the taxes paid to use these facilities aid to nation' s economic growth. For instance, Singapore is one of the richest country in Asia continent, and 65% of its revenue comes from tourism sector only. This trend is a pragmatic shift because it generates more jobs for local people. This is to say that to cater the needs of tourists more hotels, cafeterias and transport facilities are started. Thus, to match the demand and supply of tourism industry more jobs are created. As a result, many people are recruited to run the businesses and facility centers. For example, as per the report by Harvard Business School, 65% of the jobs in Thailand are due to its tourism sector. To conclude, more number of less developed nations are promoting their tourism sector because it boosts the country' s growth trajectory. In my opinion, it is a positive trend because enormous job opportunities are created to match the requirements of tourism domain.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are promoting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
sector. I believe this trend aids to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s economy, which is definitely a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
progression.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, more tourists means that it will boost
Possible spelling mistake found.
nation&
#039; s economy. When large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
tourist attractions then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
various facilities such as local transport, hotels and restaurants.
As a result
, the taxes paid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these facilities aid to
Possible spelling mistake found.
nation&
#039; s economic growth.
For instance
, Singapore is one of the richest country in Asia continent, and 65% of its revenue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
sector
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

This trend is a pragmatic shift
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it generates more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This is to say that to cater the needs of tourists more hotels, cafeterias and transport facilities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
.
Thus
, to match the demand and supply of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are created
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are recruited
to run the businesses and facility centers.
For example
, as per the report by Harvard Business School, 65% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in Thailand are due to its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
sector.

To conclude
, more number of less developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are promoting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
sector
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it boosts the
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s growth trajectory. In my opinion, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities
are created
to match the requirements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
domain.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay An increasing number of developing countries are expanding their tourist industry. Why do you think it is the case? And do you think it is positive? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
227 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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