Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

An increased number of people today change their career and living places in their lives. Is it a positive or negative development? v.6

An increased number of people today change their career and living places in their lives. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 6
People switch career paths and move to different places for various reasons ranging from better prospects, high earnings to the better quality of life. In many instances, this has many positive impacts on family or community of a person. Particularly when a talent is not recognised and appreciated in a country or in a career, it is definitely a wise step to change jobs and move to greener pastures. If we consider the case of a person coming from a developing country, it is very likely that there are fewer opportunities in his home country. If this person relocates to a country where his skill is regarded as niche and rare, chances are that he will get paid 100-300% more than his pay in his native country. For instance, today there are better-paying jobs in Information Technology industry in the USA than in India. Due to this, young population in India wants to relocate to one of these countries to have better standards of living and salaries. Apart from this, there are more chances to go up in corporate ladder and get chances to interact and work with experts in the industries. In some instances, even when we have the best paying job, one may not end their day satisfied. It is strongly advised to divert their energies to a career of their interest or choice. On the contrary, when relocating to a different country or a job, one needs to leave their families and friends behind and live far from them. It takes very long time to socialise in new environments and get used to cultures. For example, if one migrated from India to Australia, he will have to adjust to different weather conditions, cultures and living style. A lot of things that are deemed acceptable in India are probably considered absolutely insane in Australia. Due to reasons like this, career growth may stagnate for a while and sometimes does not go as expected. We should balance the positives and negatives when deciding to change careers or living places. When we need years to adjust to new careers and communities, it is wise to calculate impact beforehand and move on.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
switch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
paths and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places for various reasons ranging from better prospects, high earnings to the better quality of life. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
instances, this has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on family or community of a person.
Particularly
when a talent is not
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
and appreciated in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, it is definitely a wise step to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to greener pastures.

If we consider the case of a person coming from a developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
likely that there are fewer opportunities in his home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. If this person relocates to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is regarded
as niche and rare, chances are that he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
paid 100-300% more than his pay in his native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
there are better-paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in Information Technology industry in the USA than in India. Due to this, young population in India wants to relocate to one of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to have better standards of living and salaries. Apart from this, there are more chances to go up in corporate ladder and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
chances to interact and work with experts in the industries. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
instances, even when we have the best paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, one may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
their day satisfied. It is
strongly
advised to divert their energies to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
of their interest or choice.

On the contrary
, when relocating to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, one needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their families and friends behind and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far from them. It takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long time to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
in new environments and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to cultures.
For example
, if one migrated from India to Australia, he will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
adjust to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
weather conditions, cultures and living style.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
things that
are deemed
acceptable in India are
probably
considered
absolutely
insane in Australia. Due to reasons like this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
growth may stagnate for a while and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
does not go as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
.

We should balance the positives and negatives when deciding to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
or living places. When we need years to adjust to new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
and communities, it is wise to calculate impact beforehand and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay An increased number of people today change their career and living places in their lives. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts