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An increased number of people today change their career and living places in their lives. Is it a positive or negative development? v.5

An increased number of people today change their career and living places in their lives. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 5
It is noticeable today that a significant number of people are shifting their careers and living places during the course of their lives, domestically or even internationally. In my opinion, it is a positive phenomenon that has its impact in both, personal lives and the society in general. Life is dynamic and people tend to adapt to change in all aspects, it is no longer strange to notice people from different races living together and interacting in a day-to-day routine in work and living places. A good example of this change is the Arabian Gulf countries where East and West intersect and a new community characteristic is evolved. This has reflected positively in the whole community, people get more and more open-minded, having less resistance to new ideas, the knowledge and experience are shared from different sources giving the best out of this mixture, everyone contributes and the result is international. In a personal level, the change is huge, having lived this experience myself, I can say I'm not the same anymore, interacting and dealing with people coming from different places all over the world with different backgrounds had a significant impact on me in both personal and professional levels, now I can adapt more easily to changes and foreign idea, I appreciate cultural motivated actions and decisions I never thought of or imagined I can accept and live with before. Emphasizing more on the career change, I think it is positive not to restrict yourself to a certain career path, having the flexibility to move easily if needed to a different career or field gives the power to change and gain more knowledge and experience keeping learning as you grow old, it is a cumulative process that strengthens the personality and opens the door for future potential opportunities. In conclusion, change is a principal element of human nature, one should not fight or resist it whether it's a career or living place or country change, it has its positive effects and gets more and easier with today's globalisation and integration in life.
It is noticeable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
that a significant number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are shifting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
during the course of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
domestically
or even
internationally
. In my opinion, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
phenomenon that has its impact in both, personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and the society
in general
.

Life is dynamic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to adapt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in all aspects, it is no longer strange to notice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
races
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
together and interacting in a day-to-day routine in work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is the Arabian Gulf countries where East and West intersect and a new community characteristic
is evolved
. This has reflected
positively
in the whole community,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more and more open-minded, having less resistance to new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, the knowledge and experience
are shared
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
sources giving the best out of this mixture, everyone contributes and the result is international.

In a personal level, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is huge, having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
this experience myself, I can say I'm not the same anymore, interacting and dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
all over the world with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
backgrounds had a significant impact on me in both personal and professional levels,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I can adapt more
easily
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
and foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, I appreciate cultural motivated actions and decisions I never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of or imagined I can accept and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

Emphasizing more on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
not to restrict yourself to a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
path, having the flexibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
easily
if needed to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
or field gives the power to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
and gain more knowledge and experience keeping learning as you grow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, it is a cumulative process that strengthens the personality and opens the door for future potential opportunities.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is a principal element of human nature, one should not fight or resist it whether it's a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
or country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, it has its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
more and easier with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
and integration in life.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay An increased number of people today change their career and living places in their lives. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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