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An American film actor one said "Tomorrow is the best important thing in life". How important do you think it is individuals and countries to think about the future on the present? v.1

An American film actor one said "Tomorrow is the best important thing in life". How important do you think it is individuals and countries to think about the future on the present? v. 1
There has been a difference of opinion regarding the topic that global aid organization borrow celebrities' power to raise public awareness of social issues, such as poverty reduction, whereas some argue that this activity might be dispensable. Some people opine that this is a negative change, while l would argue that being supported by international succour organizations by celebrities will bring more positive change to society. One the one hand, l understand why some people support the opinion that certain famous people can cause the loss of urgency of the problem. Firstly, there are certain celebrities who lead unhealthy lifestyles because of an extremely great amount of money. İn other words, some of the famous people who are addicted to some harmful habits, like drug addiction are a bad example for the one who will present international succour organizations. İn addition, a great number of superstars only want to increase their fame by participating in certain help organization, as a result of which the involvement of them might be neglected. On the other hand, l would argue that this trend has much more positive change in government. Firstly, superstars who participate in charitable activities are likely to be useful to the media that spends a large proportion of their time to bring the information to great number of viewers. To be more specific, celebrities, such as movie stars are the best way for attracting attention of society easily. Moreover, because of the famous people, an overwhelming majority of the inhabitants can be able to access things which they have never concerned before. Consequently, that celebrities take part in certain crucial and significant help companies help widen the amount of donation given for the needed organizations. By way of conclusion, even though there are certain negative sides for global aid organizations in terms of participating famous people, l am of the opinion that celebrities should join these types of organizations because they are more beneficial for getting success.
There has been a difference of opinion regarding the topic that global aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
borrow celebrities' power to raise public awareness of social issues, such as poverty reduction, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that this activity might be dispensable.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, while l would argue that
being supported
by international
Possible spelling mistake found.
succour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
will bring more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to society.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand, l understand why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can cause the loss of urgency of the problem.
Firstly
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
lead unhealthy lifestyles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of an
extremely
great amount of money.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İn
other words, s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ome
of the f
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
amous
p
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eople
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are addicted
to s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ome
harmful habits, like drug addiction are a b
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ad
example for the one
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who
will present international
Possible spelling mistake found.
succour
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organizations
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İn
addition, a great number of superstars on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ly w
ant to increase their fame by participating in
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certain
help
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organization
, as
a result o
f which the involvement of them might
be neglected
.

On
the other hand,
l would argue that this trend has much more po
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sitive c
h
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ange i
n go
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
vernment.
Fi
rstly,
superstars
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
participate in charitable activities are likely to be useful to the media that spends a large proportion of their time to bring the information to great number of viewers. To be more specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
, such as movie stars are the best way for attracting attention of society
easily
. Mo
reover,
be
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cause o
f the fa
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
mous p
e
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ople,
an overwhelming majority of the inhabitants can be able to access things which they have never concerned be
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fore.
Co
nsequently,
that
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celebrities
ta
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ke part i
n
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certain
crucial and significant he
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lp c
o
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
mpanies h
e
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lp w
iden the amount of donation gi
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ven f
or the needed organizations.

By way of conclusion, ev
en though t
here are
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certain
ne
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
gative s
ides for global aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
in terms of participating fa
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
mous p
e
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ople,
l am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
should jo
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
in t
hese types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
cause t
hey are more beneficial for getting success.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay An American film actor one said "Tomorrow is the best important thing in life". How important do you think it is individuals and countries to think about the future on the present? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
327 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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