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An American film actor one said "Tomorrow is the best important thing in life". How important do you think it is individuals and countries to think about the future on the present? v.1

An American film actor one said "Tomorrow is the best important thing in life". How important do you think it is individuals and countries to think about the future on the present? v. 1
There has been a difference of opinion regarding the topic that global aid organization borrow celebrities' power to raise public awareness of social issues, such as poverty reduction, whereas some argue that this activity might be dispensable. Some people opine that this is a negative change, while l would argue that being supported by international succour organizations by celebrities will bring more positive change to society. One the one hand, l understand why some people support the opinion that certain famous people can cause the loss of urgency of the problem. Firstly, there are certain celebrities who lead unhealthy lifestyles because of an extremely great amount of money. İn other words, some of the famous people who are addicted to some harmful habits, like drug addiction are a bad example for the one who will present international succour organizations. İn addition, a great number of superstars only want to increase their fame by participating in certain help organization, as a result of which the involvement of them might be neglected. On the other hand, l would argue that this trend has much more positive change in government. Firstly, superstars who participate in charitable activities are likely to be useful to the media that spends a large proportion of their time to bring the information to great number of viewers. To be more specific, celebrities, such as movie stars are the best way for attracting attention of society easily. Moreover, because of the famous people, an overwhelming majority of the inhabitants can be able to access things which they have never concerned before. Consequently, that celebrities take part in certain crucial and significant help companies help widen the amount of donation given for the needed organizations. By way of conclusion, even though there are certain negative sides for global aid organizations in terms of participating famous people, l am of the opinion that celebrities should join these types of organizations because they are more beneficial for getting success.
There has been a difference of opinion regarding the topic that global aid
organization
borrow celebrities' power to raise public awareness of social issues, such as poverty reduction, whereas
some
argue that this activity might be dispensable.

Some
people
opine that this is a
negative
change
, while l would argue that
being supported
by international
succour
organizations
by
celebrities
will bring more
positive
change
to society.

One
the one hand, l understand why
some
people
support the opinion that
certain
famous
people
can cause the loss of urgency of the problem.
Firstly
, there are
certain
celebrities
who
lead unhealthy lifestyles
because
of an
extremely
great amount of money.
İn
other words, s
ome
of the f
amous
p
eople
who
are addicted
to s
ome
harmful habits, like drug addiction are a b
ad
example for the one
who
will present international
succour
organizations
.
İn
addition, a great number of superstars on
ly w
ant to increase their fame by participating in
certain
help
organization
, as
a result o
f which the involvement of them might
be neglected
.

On
the other hand,
l would argue that this trend has much more po
sitive c
h
ange i
n go
vernment.
Fi
rstly,
superstars
who
participate in charitable activities are likely to be useful to the media that spends a large proportion of their time to bring the information to great number of viewers. To be more specific,
celebrities
, such as movie stars are the best way for attracting attention of society
easily
. Mo
reover,
be
cause o
f the fa
mous p
e
ople,
an overwhelming majority of the inhabitants can be able to access things which they have never concerned be
fore.
Co
nsequently,
that
celebrities
ta
ke part i
n
certain
crucial and significant he
lp c
o
mpanies h
e
lp w
iden the amount of donation gi
ven f
or the needed organizations.

By way of conclusion, ev
en though t
here are
certain
ne
gative s
ides for global aid
organizations
in terms of participating fa
mous p
e
ople,
l am of the opinion that
celebrities
should jo
in t
hese types of
organizations
be
cause t
hey are more beneficial for getting success.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay An American film actor one said "Tomorrow is the best important thing in life". How important do you think it is individuals and countries to think about the future on the present? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
327 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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