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Although more and more people read news on the Internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news. Do you agree or disagree? v.7

Although more and more people read news on the Internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news. v. 7
Newspapers have been a traditional way of reading news and I believe that it will always be an important source in spite of the growing trend of news being read online. The two main reasons to support my opinion are, most of the people prefer are acquainted to the format of the newspaper and also, because the news found in the journal are more relevant. The older generation which consists of more than 60 percent of the population at any time prefers to read newspaper mainly due to the format it has. This means most of the people who still mid to the old level depend on the newspaper to read on a day to day basis, as it is more comfortable for their eyes and also very easy to follow. To illustrate, the simple black and white version makes it easier for most readers to read, unlike the online news, which could be in various different formats and a colourful appearance which could be more disturbing for the older generation. Another reason could be that the accuracy of the information published in the journal. The newspaper has well known journalists who share news which would be closer to reality. As newspapers tend to be a quite sensitive journal, the news getting printed on them are closely monitored, in order to avoid hurting the sentiments of people. However, as the internet is vast, so the news online cannot be monitored or censored, this encourages a number of wrong and incorrect information being circulated, a reason for fewer people relying on it. Hence, newspaper is considered to have more relevant content for serious readers. To conclude, although with the development of technology a large population is shifting towards reading news online, however, this would not make the newspaper obsolete and they would still remain a good source of information for the traditional readers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Newspapers
have been a traditional way of reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and I believe that it will always be an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
source
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the growing trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. The two main reasons to support my opinion are, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
are acquainted
to the format of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
and
also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
found in the journal are more relevant.

The older generation which consists of more than 60 percent of the population at any time prefers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
mainly
due to the format it has. This means most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
still
mid to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
level depend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
on a
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
basis, as it is more comfortable for their eyes and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to follow. To illustrate, the simple black and white version
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier for most readers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
, unlike the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, which could be in various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
formats and a
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
appearance which could be more disturbing for the older generation.

Another reason could be that the accuracy of the information published in the journal. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
has well known journalists who share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
which would be closer to reality. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
tend to be a quite sensitive journal, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
getting printed on them are
closely
monitored, in order to avoid hurting the sentiments of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, as the internet is vast,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
cannot
be monitored
or censored, this encourages a number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and incorrect information
being circulated
, a reason for fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relying on it.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
is considered
to have more relevant content for serious readers.

To conclude
, although with the development of technology a large population is shifting towards reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
however
, this would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
obsolete and
they would
still
remain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of information for the traditional readers.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Although more and more people read news on the Internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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