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Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? v.2

Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies. with this? v. 2
Public parks are important for people in this fast-paced industrial society. Although some people believe that public parks offer great value, others argue that it would be better to use such spaces in addressing the accommodation problem of the growing population or for other business activities to strengthen the economy. I agree with the former view that public parks provide great benefit to not only people but also other species. Public parks are an alternative for people to be near to nature and away from their busy schedules. These spaces work as a resort for people to relax. The diverse number of plants and trees in these spaces offers a refreshing and revitalizing experience to their visitors. The natural landscape of these parks allows people to have morning and evening walks, which many medical studies have proven to be healthy for the human mind and body. If these spaces are replaced with residential developments, it will create congestion in the environment that is very harmful to people’s health. Moreover, besides providing an escape for people to take a break from their hectic lifestyle. These places also play their role as sanctuaries for flora and fauna. Due to increasing urbanization, natural habitats of many species of plants and birds are destroyed rapidly. Since parks often have a diverse range of plants and trees, which allows many birds to take refuge. Moreover, some parks have nurseries for endangered plant species to protect them from extinction. If these parks are converted into shopping centres, there will be no other way for these species to survive. To conclude, while other people’s opinion may vary, in my opinion, despite the increasing population and economic issues, public parks are critical for the well being of humans and other species. Therefore, they cannot be replaced by urbanization and commercialization.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced industrial society. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
offer great value, others argue that it would be better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
in addressing the accommodation problem of the growing population or for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
business activities to strengthen the economy. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
provide great benefit to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
species.

Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
are an alternative for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be near to nature and away from their busy schedules. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
work as a resort for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to relax. The diverse number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and trees in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
offers a refreshing and revitalizing experience to their visitors. The natural landscape of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have morning and evening walks, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
medical studies have proven to be healthy for the human mind and body. If these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
are replaced
with residential developments, it will create congestion in the environment
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health.

Moreover
,
besides
providing an escape for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take a break from their hectic lifestyle. These places
also
play their role as sanctuaries for flora and fauna. Due to increasing urbanization, natural habitats of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and birds are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
rapidly
. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have a diverse range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and trees, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
birds to take refuge.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
have nurseries for endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
species to protect them from extinction. If these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
are converted
into shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, there will be no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
way for these species to survive.

To conclude
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
opinion may vary, in my opinion, despite the increasing population and economic issues,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
are critical for the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of humans and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
species.
Therefore
, they cannot
be replaced
by urbanization and commercialization.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies. with this? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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