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All universities should have an equal number of male and female students in each subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

All universities should have an equal number of male and female students in each subject. v. 1
It is argued that all universities should have an identical proportion of male and female students in each subject. I, however, disagree with this view. In my opinion, universities should admit their junior according to merit and also every pupil have their own individual interest. Firstly, I believe that universities should not have an identical number of male and female students in each subject, they should admit through the merit of students. In this way, both genders have the same opportunities, and applicants know that they will be successful, if they do hard work and get good grades at school. For instance, if a female undergraduate is the best candidate for a place on a course, it is surely wrong to reject her instead of male students with lower grades or fewer qualifications. Moreover, I also think that every scholar has their individual interest, it will not possible to admit according to gender. There are some subject also which is maximum studied by only one feminine, nevertheless, both neuter. Like nursing, if we observe on it, we know that, maximum female student has an interest on it. It would be difficult to fulfil if fifty percent of the places needed to go to the males. In a nutshell, having the same proportion of both masculine in each exposed it would be impractical, as well as, unreliable. So, it should be based on merit. Hence, I firmly disagree with the idea of accepting equal proportion of each gender in every university sensitive.
It
is argued
that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should have an identical proportion of male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in each subject. I,
however
, disagree with this view. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should admit their junior according to merit and
also
every pupil have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
individual interest.

Firstly
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should not have an identical number of male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in each subject, they should admit through the merit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In this way, both genders have the same opportunities, and applicants know that they will be successful, if they do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades at school.
For instance
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
undergraduate is the best candidate for a place on a course, it is
surely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to reject her
instead
of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with lower grades or fewer qualifications.

Moreover
, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that every scholar has their individual interest, it
The word 'possible' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
will not possible
to admit according to gender. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
subject
also
which is maximum studied by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one feminine,
nevertheless
, both neuter. Like nursing, if we observe on it, we know that, maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has an interest on it. It would be difficult to fulfil if fifty percent of the places needed to go to the males.

In a nutshell, having the same proportion of both masculine in each exposed it would be impractical,
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
, unreliable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it should
be based
on merit.
Hence
, I
firmly
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of accepting equal proportion of each gender in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
sensitive.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay All universities should have an equal number of male and female students in each subject. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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