Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

All the people in a company should be treated equally and provided with the same numbers of vacations in a year. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

All the people in a company should be treated equally and provided with the same numbers of vacations in a year. v. 1
Many companies around the world have their own Human Resource policies covering areas starting from recruitment, employee benefits and leave policies to retirement. Some people suggest that all workers must be given equal treatment and the holiday leaves for all categories of employees must be on par with the other. I tend to agree with their view and in this essay, I will discuss both views and emphasize why equality in treatment is very important. People who criticize this view say that employees leave and other benefits should vary according to the hierarchy level of workers. For example, top-level employees should receive superior treatment and must be provided with more number of vacations a year. However, I believe such treatments will lead to discrimination on the part of the management. Furthermore, it will create unnecessary confrontations among the employees and may at times lead to labour issues. Admittedly, many labour laws across the different countries not only prescribe rules for salary fixation but they also emphasize on fair treatment of employees in terms of paid vacations and other administrative benefits that offered to all the staffs. Firstly, such practices make all employees feel that they are treated in an equal manner and are respected without any bias. Such feel will improve their confidence in the management significantly that results in a better co-operation in work environment. It will also motivate them to create a friendly environment, thereby improving the harmony among the staff members. In conclusion, a companies employee related policy that categorizes employees based on their cadre and fixing benefits such as vacation holidays in proportion to their superiority level will invite unwanted disputes between management and the labor union, eventually, disrupting the operations of the company. Thus, in my opinion, it is the responsibility of the management to draft and impose a policy that demonstrates fair treatment of all staff groups, like providing equal vacation leaves to everyone across the organization. Unless an entity treats all its employees at par, how can it create a better working place for them?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
around the world have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Human Resource
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policies
covering areas starting from recruitment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policies
to retirement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest that all workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
and the holiday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
for all categories of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be on par with the other. I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with their view and in this essay, I will discuss both views and emphasize why equality in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who criticize this view say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
should vary according to the hierarchy level of workers.
For example
, top-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
should receive superior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provided
with more number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
a year.
However
, I believe such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
will lead to discrimination on the part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
.
Furthermore
, it will create unnecessary confrontations among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and may at times lead to
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
issues.

Admittedly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
laws across the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
prescribe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for salary fixation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
emphasize on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in terms of paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
and other administrative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
that offered to all the staffs.
Firstly
, such practices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
feel that they
are treated
Consider replacing "in an equal manner" with the adverb for "equal"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an equal manner
and
are respected
without any bias. Such feel will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their confidence in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
significantly
that results in a better co-operation in work environment. It will
also
motivate them to create a friendly environment, thereby improving the harmony among the staff members.

In conclusion
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
that categorizes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
based on their cadre and fixing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
holidays in proportion to their superiority level will invite unwanted disputes between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
and the labor union,
eventually
, disrupting the operations of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Thus
, in my opinion, it is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
to draft and impose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
that demonstrates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
of all staff groups, like providing equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
to everyone across the organization. Unless an entity treats all its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
at par, how can it create a better working place for them?
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay All the people in a company should be treated equally and provided with the same numbers of vacations in a year. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts