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All education (primary, secondary and further education) should be free to all people and paid and managed by the government. v.4

All education (primary, secondary and further education) should be free to all people and paid and managed by the government. v. 4
The opinion that every citizen should have the right to study at school or university for free is very controversial one. Those, who disagree, refer to enormous expenditures of government in case of establishing such laws. Although, I hold the viewpoint that not charging people for education could become very beneficial for a country and its economy. First, young people from poor families could be very smart. Looking back to history and biographies of distinguished people, raised in poverty can illustrate this best. Making schooling available only for fortunate is not fair. Moreover, the state well-being could also be affected, because there would be a lack of talented specialists, whose skills was not discovered and developed by proper training. Another advantage of making education free of charge is the happiness of the nation. An individual's inability to collect the amount of money he needs to pay school or university fee cause stress and anxiety in the middle-class society, which can even keep them from having children. Nowadays we can see that the lowest birthrate is in countries where prices of enrollment to highest education institutions are very high. This clearly indicates the fact that citizens of rich countries do not feel able to provide their future offspring proper education. Finally, nothing seems to be more beneficial to a country's economy than an educated and intelligent nation. Free courses and study programs can prepare excellent specialists, who would work to bring profit themselves and hence their country. That would surely compensate most expenses of state budget caused by education of no charge. To sum up, even though making all schools free can be very expensive for a state's economy, advantages are invaluable. After several years such improvements would bring fruits of happy, intelligent nation confident about its future.
The opinion that every citizen should have the right to study at school or university for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
controversial one. Those, who disagree, refer to enormous expenditures of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in case of establishing such laws. Although, I hold the viewpoint that not charging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
could become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and its economy.

First
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from poor families could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
smart. Looking back to history and biographies of distinguished
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, raised in poverty can illustrate this best. Making schooling available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for fortunate is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
.
Moreover
, the state well-being could
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there would be a lack of talented specialists, whose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
was not discovered and developed by proper training.

Another advantage of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of charge is the happiness of the nation. An individual's inability to collect the amount of money he needs to pay school or university fee cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety in the middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
society, which can even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them from having children. Nowadays we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the lowest birthrate is in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where prices of enrollment to
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
institutions are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high. This
clearly
indicates the fact that citizens of rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not feel able to provide their future offspring proper education.

Finally
, nothing seems to be more beneficial to a country's economy than an educated and intelligent nation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Free
courses and study programs can prepare excellent specialists, who would work to bring profit themselves and
hence
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. That would
surely
compensate most expenses of state budget caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of no charge.

To sum up,
even though
making all schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive for a state's economy, advantages are invaluable. After several years such improvements would bring fruits of happy, intelligent nation confident about its future.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay All education (primary, secondary and further education) should be free to all people and paid and managed by the government. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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