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When people need to complain about a product or poor service, some prefer to complain in writing and others prefer to complain in person. v.2

When people need to complain about a product or poor service, some prefer to complain in writing and others prefer to complain in person. v. 2
From the one side, complaining in writing brings many benefits. First of all, one does not have to spend his precious time driving, waiting for his turn and talking with a representative. He can just send mail or e-mail and get all explanation he needs. Second of all, I think it is the best way to avoid an unpleasant conversation. Personally, I do not like to complain about anything especially, in person. Finally, sometimes it is impossible to have a face-to-face conversation because a company which provided a poor product or service is too far away. From the other side, complaining in person has some benefits too. First, this type of complaining provides an immediate feedback. So, if I have some complaints about a company's products, I will receive all information and explanation right away. However, sending a company a letter and getting a feedback can take more than a month. Second, face-to-face conversation is often more effective. People talk to each other, see each other facial gestures and body movements, which can tell a lot about a person. In addition to these practical benefits, in case, one can not receive a credible explanation from one representative, he always can require to talk to another person. For instance, my husband recently had some extra withdraws from his account by his bank and he was not aware of it. So, he went to the bank and explained to the bank's representative the situation and they together found the solution and that money was given back to my husband's account. I think, in this case, face-to-face conversation is the best way to complain and get feedback fast. In conclusion, I think that if I have to complain about a product or poor service I will do it in person. However, if a face-to-face conversation is impossible, I think I have nothing left but to send a letter or write an e-mail there.
From the one side, complaining in writing brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, one does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend his precious time driving, waiting for his turn and talking with a representative. He can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
mail or e-mail and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all explanation he needs. Second of all, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is the best way to avoid an unpleasant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conversation
.
Personally
, I do not like to complain about anything
especially
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is impossible to have a face-to-face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conversation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
which provided a poor product or service is too far away.

From the other side, complaining in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits too.
First
, this type of complaining provides an immediate feedback.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
complaints about a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's products, I will receive all information and explanation right away.
However
, sending a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
a letter and getting a feedback can take more than a month. Second, face-to-face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conversation
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
more effective.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
talk to each other,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
each other facial gestures and body movements, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
a lot about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
In addition
to these practical benefits, in case, one can not receive a credible explanation from one representative, he always can require
Did you mean "talking"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to talk
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
For instance
, my husband recently had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra withdraws from his account by his
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
bank and
he was not aware of it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, he went to the bank and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
to the bank's representative the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
situation and
they together found the solution and that money was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
back to my husband's account. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
,
in this case
, face-to-face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conversation
is the best way to complain and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
feedback
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
.

In conclusion
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that if I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
complain about a product or poor service I will do it in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
However
, if a face-to-face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conversation
is impossible, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
I have nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a letter or write an e-mail there.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay When people need to complain about a product or poor service, some prefer to complain in writing and others prefer to complain in person. v. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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