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All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.6

All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone. with this opinion? v. 6
What the government pay for all education and healthcare is now one of the most controversial issues that people like debating about. I partially agree that the government should support for education and welfare. However, I also disagree this opinion as well. To begin with, making the gap between rich and poor is inevitable in capitalism society nowadays. Thus, it is considered by many that the government should care poor people by providing the various welfare policies. For instance, the Korean government have been providing the foods for student for free in school. Furthermore, hospital fee is quite cheaper that other countries, because the Korean government are supplying fee to people. Consequently, numerous welfare policies in Korea enable poor people to be possible to learn in school and to go to the hospital cheaply. That is the reason why many people believe that the welfare is the best solution to solve the gap between rich and poor. Meanwhile, there are also some disadvantages. If the government pay all costs of welfare such as education, healthcare, the problems of budget may be generated nationally. In addition, a problem of budget in the government will allow an increase of taxes that people should pay. Therefore, it is seen that the generated problems of budget might make other economy problems. Because, if the taxes increase in the country, it is natural that people will reduce to consume. As a result, it may bring the depression of economy in the future, because consumption is significantly important in economy. In conclusion, although there are some disadvantages, I assume that the welfare of education and healthcare should be funded by government. Nevertheless, I disagree that all education and healthcare should be free. Because, it may cause other tons of problems and exacerbate the national situation. Hence, I totally believe that the government should pay for welfare partially.
What the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and healthcare is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
one of the most controversial issues that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like debating about. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should support for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
welfare
.
However
, I
also
disagree this opinion
as well
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, making the gap between rich and poor is inevitable in capitalism society nowadays.
Thus
, it
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should care poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by providing the various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
welfare
policies.
For instance
, the Korean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
have been providing the foods for student for free in school.
Furthermore
, hospital fee is quite cheaper that other countries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the Korean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
are supplying fee to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Consequently
, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
welfare
policies in Korea enable poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be possible to learn in school and to go to the hospital
cheaply
.
That is
the reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
welfare
is the best solution to solve the gap between rich and poor.

Meanwhile, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
all costs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
welfare
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, healthcare, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of budget may
be generated
nationally
.
In addition
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of budget in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
an increase of taxes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the generated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of budget might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
other economy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, if the taxes increase in the country, it is natural that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
to consume.
As a result
, it may bring the depression of economy in the future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
consumption is
significantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in economy.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, I assume that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
welfare
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and healthcare should
be funded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Nevertheless
, I disagree that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and healthcare should be free.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, it may cause other tons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and exacerbate the national situation.
Hence
, I
totally
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
welfare
partially
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone. with this opinion? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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