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All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric should replace them Do you agree or disagree v.2

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric should replace them v. 2
Cars that consume fossil fuels such as petrol or diesel must be outlawed and electric ones should take their place. I agree with the statement because electric cars are more environmentally friendly and not so expensive to own contrast to those that burn fossil fuels. Cars powered by electricity have a reduced environmental impact on the planet. In addition the air pollution that is created by the fumes from the exhaust of a car will be reduced if electric cars replace them. Also the global warming that the planet is facing with gradually decreased if the fumes are reduced. For example many European country have started to replace them with cars that charge and move with electricity and they have already seen a difference in the atmosphere. Owning a car which in order to change position and to go to a specific direction burns petrol or diesel means that it should cost a lot of money. Additionally it is extremely expensive to find new sources of fossil fuels, so as a result the cost of them is increasing every year. Moreover, fossil oils are non-renewable resources which means that they will not last forever, therefore renewable alternatives such as electric cars should be introduced. For instance a research showed that the price of diesel the last decade increase dramatically by 58%. In conclusion I totally agree with the ban of cars that are powered with fossil fuels and the introduction of electric ones because are less expensive and create less pollution to the planet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cars
that consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
fuels such as petrol or diesel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be outlawed
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
ones should take their place. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are more
environmentally
friendly and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
expensive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
contrast to those that burn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
fuels.

Cars powered by electricity have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
environmental impact on the planet. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
the air pollution that
is created
by the fumes from the exhaust of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
replace them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the global warming that the planet is facing with
gradually
decreased if the fumes are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
For example
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
European country have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to replace them with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
that charge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
electricity and
they have already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a difference in the atmosphere.

Owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
which in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
position and to go to a specific direction burns petrol or diesel means that it should cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
it is
extremely
expensive to find new sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
fuels,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as a result
the cost of them is increasing every year.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
oils are non-renewable resources which means that they will not last forever,
therefore
renewable alternatives such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
should
be introduced
.
For instance
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the price of diesel the last decade increase
dramatically
by 58%.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the ban of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
that
are powered
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
fuels and the introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
are less expensive and create less pollution to the planet.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric should replace them v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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