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Air travel should be restricted because of pollution and uses up the world's fuel. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Air travel should be restricted because of pollution and uses up the world's fuel. v. 2
In this contemporary era, air transportation facilities should be prohibited due to contamination and exhaustion of global fuel. I totally disagree with the laid statement. Air travel is time efficient as well as flexible transportation. My ideas and opinion are justified further. Firstly, air travels provide luxurious services and best flights with comfortable arrangements. Moreover, this transport system has always run on air, so it totally eliminates the fear of not only water pollution but also soil contaminating. Secondly, it is advantageous to the natural resources like trees, plants, mountain and many more due to its abilities of flying high in the deep sky. By usage of enormous air travel, which in turn results to retain non renewable sources like petrol, diesel. For example, a recent survey by a popular newspaper 'Times of India' has conveyed that aeroplanes is more environment friendly as compared to other transportation services. In addition, air agencies are the only mode of traveling which help people to migrate from one place to another. Moreover, if the restrictions given to the air companies then, there will be relation breakups between the countries which trade all items over the universe. In addition, air services play a critical role in a developing native land, as it is useful for them to import and export things in a rapid amount of time. Air travels uses kerosene as a fuel and kerosene quantity is immense compared to other fuels. However, we cannot overlook the other side too. The fumes which are released by plane mixes with air and as a consequence it produces air pollution. By this reason, air tourism should not be restricted in this present century. In conclusion, it is interesting to say that air travel is better for sustaining non renewable sources and it is time efficient. It plays a substantive role in import export business. Furthermore, it uses less fuel of the globe. Due to this, I completely disagree with the given statement.
In this contemporary era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
transportation facilities should
be prohibited
due to contamination and exhaustion of global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
. I
totally
disagree with the laid statement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is time efficient
as well
as flexible transportation. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and opinion
are justified
further
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travels
provide luxurious services and best flights with comfortable arrangements.
Moreover
, this transport system has always run on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
totally
eliminates the fear of not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
water pollution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
soil contaminating.
Secondly
, it is advantageous to the natural resources like trees, plants, mountain and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more due to its abilities of flying high in the deep sky. By usage of enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
, which in turn results to retain
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non renewable
sources like petrol, diesel.
For example
, a recent survey by a popular newspaper 'Times of India' has conveyed that
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
is more environment friendly as compared to other transportation services.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
agencies are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
mode of traveling which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to migrate from one place to another.
Moreover
, if the restrictions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
then, there will be relation breakups between the countries which trade all items over the universe.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
services play a critical role in a developing native land, as it is useful for them to import and export things in a rapid amount of time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
kerosene as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
and kerosene quantity is immense compared to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
.
However
, we cannot overlook the other side too. The fumes which
are released
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
mixes with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and as a consequence it produces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution. By this reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
tourism should not
be restricted
in this present century.

In conclusion
, it is interesting to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is better for sustaining
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non renewable
sources and it is time efficient. It plays a substantive role in import export business.
Furthermore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
of the globe. Due to this, I completely disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Air travel should be restricted because of pollution and uses up the world's fuel. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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