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Air travel should be restricted because of pollution and uses up the world's fuel. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Air travel should be restricted because of pollution and uses up the world's fuel. v. 1
In todays globalised world the use of air travel is increasing day by day, by doing so it invites some negative effects such as serious pollution and uses of the world's fuel resources. So, it is essential to restrict the use of air travel at some extent. Firstly, the main problem associated with air travel is pollution. Nowadays all means of air travel produce many harmful gases which cause serious pollution of the environment. For instance, plan or helicopter produces many harmful gases such as carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide, nitrogen oxide etc. Which is very harmful for the environment. So, it is very essential to restrict the use of air travel or to develop a new technology which can reduce the pollution. Furthermore, all means of air travel such as helicopter and plane use worlds fossil fuel in high quantity, which may cause scarcity of fuel in near future. The fuel required for air travel is also very costly because the fuel used for air travel is in its pure form. For example, the fuel used by air travel is more quantity compare to any other mode of transportation. So, we have to develop such a new technology for air travel which uses renewable energy sources such as sun or wind. Also, we have to restrict the use of air travel. On the other hand, air travel is one of the best mode of transportation, because it is very convenient and time saving. We can travel long distance in a few hours. But, its harmful effects such as pollution and depletion of the world's fuel are not negligible. So, we have to restrict the use of air travel. To pen down, I would like to say that pollution and depletion of the world's fuel are a big concern for today because it causes harmful effect in the future. So it is essential to restrict a travel at some extent.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalised' is British English.
globalised
world the
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use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is increasing day by day, by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it invites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects such as serious
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pollution
and
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uses
of the world's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
resources.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is essential to
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restrict
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.

Firstly
, the main problem associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. Nowadays all means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harmful
gases which cause serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
of the environment.
For instance
, plan or helicopter produces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harmful
gases such as carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide, nitrogen oxide etc. Which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harmful
for the environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrict
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
or to develop a new technology which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pollution.

Furthermore
, all means of
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air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
such as helicopter and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
use
worlds fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
in high quantity, which may cause scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
in near future. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
required for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is in its pure form.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is more quantity compare to any other mode of transportation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
develop such a new technology for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uses
renewable energy sources such as sun or wind.
Also
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrict
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
travel.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is one of the best mode of transportation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient and time saving. We can
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travel
long distance in a few hours.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harmful
effects such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and depletion of the world's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
are not negligible.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrict
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
travel.

To pen down, I would like to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and depletion of the world's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
concern for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harmful
effect in the future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrict
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
57Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Air travel should be restricted because of pollution and uses up the world's fuel. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
319 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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