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Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. v.12

Economic progress for many countries is the most necessary goal, whilst some people believe that there are other types of progress that have equal importance for them. This topic is worth for discussion. Government consider economics the major contribution to the country, therefore they try to create more space for progressing of it. From this point of view, by increasing the economic level in the country the standard of living will go up at the same time and the main goal is to maintain it for a long time. Government believe that economic progress contributes the main part for flourishing of country and it affects both organizations and individuals. In the other hand, for individuals all progresses need to take an equal space for a country. It can be industrial progress, progress in tourism etc. which also contribute to growth of a country. Taking into a consideration all these progresses and keeping all of them in the same level can have marked effects on whole lives and by it increase not only one approach, but also others equally. Economic progress can take a huge role for the contribution to the country, however, by my opinion all progresses need to take in mind for this goal. From small industries to large companies, all types of progresses make a difference in the increase of the way of living and the developing of the country. To finalize, economic progress is the part of contributions to the country, while all types of progress are equally necessary for it. Perhaps, if this is right for all countries, it will show enormous effects on them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is the most necessary goal, whilst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that there are other types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
that have equal importance for them. This topic is worth for discussion.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economics
the major contribution to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
therefore
they try to create more space for progressing of it. From this point of view, by increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
level in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
the standard of living will go up at the same time and the main goal is to maintain it for a long time.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
contributes the main part for flourishing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and it affects both organizations and individuals.

In the other hand, for individuals all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progresses
need to take an equal space for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It can be industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
in tourism etc. which
also
contribute to growth of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Taking into a consideration all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progresses
and keeping all of them in the same level can have marked effects on whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and by it increase not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one approach,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
others
equally
.

Economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
can take a huge role for the contribution to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
however
, by my opinion all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progresses
need to take in mind for this goal. From
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
industries to large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, all types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progresses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a difference in the increase of the way of living and the developing of the country.

To finalize,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
is the part of contributions to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, while all types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
are
equally
necessary for it. Perhaps, if this is right for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
enormous effects on them.
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If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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