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Air travel has brought negative impacts to the environment and therefore should be restricted. v.1

Air travel has brought negative impacts to the environment and therefore should be restricted. v. 1
Increased in flights has brought significant disadvantages in the earth's ecosystem. Although some people believe that mode of transport should be prohibited in the society, it can be argued that there are considerable benefits of retaining the number of flights. Primarily, there are limited numbers of transportation to travel to overseas destinations and one of which is the aeroplane. In the past, primitive people travelled through ships or boats, yet it used to take them a very long time to reach other nations. It is widely believed that travelling at the wind is the expeditious means of reaching different countries at the desired time, and through aeroplanes, time will not be a problem for those people who have business meetings and personal appointments. Furthermore, it is often said that because of convenience in transportation, it is most likely that globalisation will be established in the entire countries. For instance, some foreign investors can launch their business in a country that has cheap labour and market goods, thus it will develop the nexus of trade and industry. In addition, if air transport is banned some countries, it would be a hindrance for those people to experience the leisure in other countries with rewarding amenities. To illustrate, there are many people who want to experience the luxury in abroad, and it would cost them too much time if they opt to a sea-based journey. Admittedly, air based travel has become a culprit towards widespread of much fumes which contribute to global warming, yet there are justifications that believe that there are also other sources of pollution, such as CFC producing appliances, fossil fuel reliant vehicles and methods of waste disposal. Thus, aeroplanes should not be blamed for the deterioration of the environment. In conclusion, I firmly believe that aeroplane travel should not be banned because it has several advantages and opportunities intended for people.
Increased in flights has brought significant disadvantages in the earth's ecosystem. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that mode of transport should
be prohibited
in the society, it can
be argued
that there are considerable benefits of retaining the number of flights.

Primarily
, there
are limited
numbers of transportation to travel to overseas destinations and one of which is the
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplane' is British English.
aeroplane
. In the past, primitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travelled through ships or boats,
yet
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to take them a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to reach other nations. It is
widely
believed that travelling at the wind is the expeditious means of reaching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
at the desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and through
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will not be a problem for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have business meetings and personal appointments.
Furthermore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of convenience in transportation, it is most likely that
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
will
be established
in the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
foreign investors can launch their business in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
and market
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
,
thus
it will develop the nexus of trade and industry.

In addition
, if air transport
is banned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, it would be a hindrance for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to experience the leisure in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with rewarding amenities. To illustrate, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to experience the luxury in abroad, and it would cost them too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
if they opt to a sea-based journey.

Admittedly
, air based travel has become a culprit towards widespread of
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
fumes which contribute to global warming,
yet
there are justifications that believe that there are
also
other sources of pollution, such as CFC producing appliances, fossil fuel reliant vehicles and methods of waste disposal.
Thus
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
should not
be blamed
for the deterioration of the environment.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplane' is British English.
aeroplane
travel should not
be banned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has several advantages and opportunities intended for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Air travel has brought negative impacts to the environment and therefore should be restricted. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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