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Agree or disagree? TPO 12 - It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. v.2

Agree or disagree? TPO 12 - It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. v. 2
Views differ when it comes to people' s information and understanting. Some people are inclined toward the opinion that there is more beneficial to be familiar with many academic areas. However, some other may take an opposite viewpoint and believe that, having solid knowledge in on specific area are better. In my point of view, there are more merit for people to have academic knowledge of broad subjects. The first reason worth mentioning is that due to the knowldege of many academic subject, people can be more successful. In these days, developement of the technology creates alters the old fashioned jobs. In the past day, it was neccesary for people to have a advance knwodelge in one specific field to get a job. Because of that many people focused only on on specific area. Nowadays, the advancement of the technology create new jobs and areas which are different. One these area is Data Science which is a new demanding job in every company. These new career have application in all academic subjects and help us to acheive better result in that area. Therefore, because of this new situation, a person who have a more basic knowledge, have a more rate of success compare to others. A furthur more subtle to point out is that study adverse source of science can help people to understand themself better. nowadays, many people do not have a passion in their life and do not know what their solution is. They get bored easilty and many of them study something that their parents told them. Have a vast knowledge can help these people since of the way that a person can find his like is to work. He is familiar with many academic subject. He can spend his time in single area and test all of them. After a while he can say which one he prefer between them. Therefore, by have a vast understanding of academic subject people can understand themselves better than other. For example, when my brother finished his college education, he was an expert in Civil Engineering. But he was not happy of it since my parent force him to choose this area. He lost his passion in life and after that he attend in different classes and extend his knowledge in other fields. After one year he understand he is passionate about history and know study it. To make a long story short, there are more merits for people to have a vast understanding of academic subjects due to the mentioned reasons in up paragraphs.
Views differ when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
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people&
#039; s information and
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understanting
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inclined
toward the opinion that there is more beneficial to be familiar with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other may take an opposite viewpoint and believe that, having solid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in on specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. In my point of view, there are more merit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of broad subjects.

The
first
reason worth mentioning is that due to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowldege
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be more successful. In these days,
Possible spelling mistake found.
developement
of the technology creates alters the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. In the past day, it was
Possible spelling mistake found.
neccesary
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
advance
Possible spelling mistake found.
knwodelge
in one specific field to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
focused
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible typo: you repeated a word
on on
specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. Nowadays, the advancement of the technology create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. One these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is Data Science which is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
demanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
career have application in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
Possible spelling mistake found.
acheive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
result in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
Therefore
,
because of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
situation, a person who have a more basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, have a more rate of success compare to others.

A
Possible spelling mistake found.
furthur
more subtle to point out is that study adverse source of science can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to understand
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nowadays
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have a passion in their life and do not know what their solution is. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bored
Possible spelling mistake found.
easilty
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them study something that their parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
them. Have a vast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
since of the way that a person can find his like is to work. He is familiar with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. He can spend his time in single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
all of them.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
a while he can say which one he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "prefers", "preferred".
prefer
between them.
Therefore
, by have a vast understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can understand themselves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than other.
For example
, when my brother finished his college education, he was an expert in Civil Engineering.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
he was not happy of it since my parent force him to choose this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. He lost his passion in life and after that he attend in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
classes and extend his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in other fields. After one year he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "understands", "understood".
understand
he is passionate about history and know study it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a long story short, there are more merits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have a vast understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
due to the mentioned reasons in up paragraphs.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Mistakes

IELTS essay Agree or disagree? TPO 12 - It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
425 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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