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Agree or disagree? The rules that society today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. v.2

Agree or disagree? The rules that society today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. v. 2
It goes without saying that from ancient times until the modern contemporary time of ours, human beings were preoccupied with setting rules and regulations in order to control their community. Rules are an imperative, indispensable part of every developed society. In this respect, while some people believe that nowadays, rules are very strict for younger generation to follow, other people stand on the other side of the continuum, holding the opinion that today' s rules are not strict for young people to obey. As far as I am concerned, I assume that policy and rule are necessary and the existing rules for youth are everything but strict. The reasons to substantiate my viewpoint are elaborated upon hereunder. To begin with, policy makers adopt rules and regulation on the basis of their community' s cultural and moral values which are not strict at all. It is crystal clear that each society enjoys from assortments of moral and cultural values which are inseparable and a good indicator of a society' s background. Having considered all of these values, policy makers and practitioners devise sets of ruls that fit well with these issues. Undeniably, setting the rules according to a community' s moral and cultural value does not mean that rules are strict for the youths to obey. To put it in a more vivid picture, in Iranian context, the people of which are Muslim, drinking beverages like wine is forbidden for people because of our religion background and the moral obligations we have pertaining to that background. Th majority of people are thoroughly aware of this rule and respect the rule as well. Is someone is caught drinking the illegal beverages, government fine them because of violating the rules. While some young people oppose this rules and consider it strict and limiting, the majority of people are proponents of this rule since it is related to our moral and religious background. Furthermore, rules are an inseparable part of controlling and managing a society, the absence of which will lead to a chaotic, haphazard, underdeveloped country. It is no secret to anyone that rules set the border and limit for people living in a community or country. Not only do the rules will lead to a better flourished society, but they also make the country enjoy a better disciplined people. In this line of thought, when there is no rules, strict or easy, people will become out of control and each of them may take measures according to their personal wants and desire. Undoubtedly, under such a circumstance, a community will collapse and will become chaotic. An example can drive this very notion home. Many people consider the driving rules too strict, especially for younger people aged 18. In Uganda, for instance, the youth could get their driver license as soon as they are ten years old. As a result, the rate of accident, mortality, and misbehavior increased drastically. Policy makers set some reasonable rules and regulations in order to prevent any progression of chattiness in their country. Having changed the rules, people revealed their discontent and protest heavily. However, the majority of people considered the newly assigned rule as a necessary part of constitution of the society, especially for young people. The more rules a society have, the more prosperous and developed it may become. In conclusion, having the aforementioned reasons and examples into account, I presume that rules of today' s society are not strict for young people. Rules are designed according to the cultural, moral, and religious background of a society which are vital and essential. Moreover, the absence of rules will turn a country into a chaotic place which is hard to withstand.
It goes without saying that from ancient times until the modern contemporary time of ours, human beings
were preoccupied
with setting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and regulations in order to control their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rules
are an imperative, indispensable part of every developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. In this respect, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
for younger generation to follow, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stand on the other side of the continuum, holding the opinion that
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today&
#039; s
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rules
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to obey. As far as I
am concerned
, I assume that
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policy
and
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rule
are necessary and the existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
for youth are everything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
. The reasons to substantiate my viewpoint
are elaborated
upon hereunder.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
policy makers
adopt
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rules
and regulation on the basis of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
community&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
values which are not
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strict
at all. It is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
enjoys from assortments of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
values which are inseparable and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
indicator of a
Possible spelling mistake found.
society&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
. Having considered all of these values,
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
policy makers
and practitioners devise sets of
Possible spelling mistake found.
ruls
that fit well with these issues.
Undeniably
, setting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
according to a
Possible spelling mistake found.
community&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
for the youths to obey. To put it in a more vivid picture, in Iranian context, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of which are Muslim, drinking beverages like wine
is forbidden
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of our religion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
obligations we have pertaining to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
.
Make sure that 'Th' is the chemical symbol for thorium, and not a typing error. Did you mean "The"?
Th
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
thoroughly
aware of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
and respect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
as well
. Is someone
is caught
drinking the illegal beverages,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
fine them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of violating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
oppose this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and consider it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
and limiting, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are proponents of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
since it
is related
to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
and religious background.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are an inseparable part of controlling and managing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, the absence of which will lead to a chaotic, haphazard, underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It is no secret to anyone that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
set the border and limit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
will lead to a better flourished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
enjoy a better disciplined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In this line of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, when there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
or easy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will become out of control and each of them may take measures according to their personal wants and desire.
Undoubtedly
, under such a circumstance, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
will collapse and will become chaotic. An example can drive this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
notion home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider the driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
,
especially
for younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aged 18. In Uganda,
for instance
, the youth could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their driver license as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they are ten years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
As a result
, the rate of accident, mortality, and misbehavior increased
drastically
.
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
Policy makers
set
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasonable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and regulations in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
any progression of chattiness in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
revealed their discontent and protest
heavily
.
However
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
considered the
newly
assigned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
as a necessary part of constitution of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
have, the more prosperous and developed it may become.

In conclusion
, having the aforementioned reasons and examples into account, I presume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rules
are designed
according to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
, and religious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
which are vital and essential.
Moreover
, the absence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
will turn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
into a chaotic place which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to withstand.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
94Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Agree or disagree? The rules that society today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
614 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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