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Everybody makes New Year’s resolution in the arrival new year. What would you make as goal for this new year? 1. To help with the community2. To do more exercise and have more nutritious foods3. To have better time management v.2

Everybody makes New Year’s resolution in the arrival new year. What would you make as goal for this new year? 1. To help with the community2. To do more exercise and have more nutritious foods3. To have better time management v. 2
New year resolutions are always an important thing in people' s life. We can set up a goal and try to achieve it. Some people may prefer to set their goal as helping with the community or having better time management, while others want to do more exercise and eat healthier. In my opinion, I prefer the latter choice. To begin with, I can have a better result on my studies if I exercise more and eat healthier. To be more specific, people need to spend lots of energy on working or studying, so by doing exercise can help people release their stress and eating healthier can give people more energy to work. For example, my dad always like to go out to play tennis whenever he is tired after long times of works. When my dad go outdoor, he say that he can breathe some fresh air while exercising. Moreover, he can also interact with his friends and talk about some fun facts happen in their life recently. Then, he will go home and my mom always prepare healthy meals with lots of vegetables and fruits. After doing these things, he tell me that he can focus better on his work. For me, this is a very good solution because I often feel extremely tired after long times of studies. As a result, I think eating healthier and doing more exercise is the new year resolution I will want to achieve. In addition, eating healthier and doing more exercise can also save us lots of money. By doing this, we can have a healthier body so we will not be sick all the time. Therefore, we do not spend lots of money to go to the doctor. Besides, eating at home is always healthier and cheaper than eating at a restaurant, so if we want to eat healthier, we will have to eat at home. As a result, it can save us lots of money. Moreover, when people go out to exercise, since it is free, we will not need to spend any money. Also, if we use our time on exercising, we will not have time to go to the mall to buy clothes or movie theater to watch movies. Thus, when we eat healthier and do more exercise, we can save lots of money according to the reason upon. Therefore, I will definitely set my new year resolution as eating healthier and doing more exercise. Undoubtedly, some people may say that it is more important to help with the community or to have better time management, because those two are essential in our life. However, if people do not have a health body, how can they have energy to manage their time or help their community? As a result, I think doing more exercise and eat healthier is the most important new year resolution I will wish to have.
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New
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year
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resolutions
are always an
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important
thing in
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people&
#039; s life. We can set up a goal and try to achieve it.
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Some
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people
may prefer to set their goal as helping with the community or having
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better
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time
management, while others want to do more
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exercise
and
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eat
healthier. In my opinion, I prefer the latter choice.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I can have a
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better
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result
on my studies if I
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exercise
more and
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eat
healthier. To be more specific,
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people
need to spend
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lots
of energy on working or studying,
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so
by
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doing
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exercise
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
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people
release their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
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eating
healthier can give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more energy to work.
For example
, my dad always like to go out to play tennis whenever he
is tired
after long
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times
of works. When my dad
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "goes".
go
outdoor, he say that he can breathe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fresh air while exercising.
Moreover
, he can
also
interact with his friends and talk about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fun facts happen in their life recently. Then, he will go home and my mom always prepare healthy meals with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of vegetables and fruits. After
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doing
these things, he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "tells", "told".
tell
me that he can focus
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better
on his work. For me, this is a
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very
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good
solution
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because
I
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often
feel
The extreme adjective for tired is "exhausted".
extremely tired
after long
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times
of studies. As a
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result
, I
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think
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eating
healthier and
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doing
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is the
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new
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year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resolution
I will want to achieve.

In addition
,
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eating
healthier and
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doing
more
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exercise
can
also
save us
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lots
of
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money
. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
this, we can have a healthier body
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we will not be sick all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Therefore
, we do not spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to go to the doctor.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
at home is always healthier and cheaper than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
at a restaurant,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if we want to
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eat
healthier, we will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
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eat
at home. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
, it can save us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Moreover
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go out to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
, since it is free, we will not need to spend any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Also
, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on exercising, we will not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to go to the mall to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
clothes or movie theater to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies.
Thus
, when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
healthier and do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
, we can save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
according to the reason upon.
Therefore
, I will definitely set my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resolution
as
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eating
healthier and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
more exercise.

Undoubtedly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
may say that it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with the community or to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
those two are essential in our life.
However
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have a health body, how can they have energy to manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their community? As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
healthier is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resolution
I will wish to have.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
74Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Everybody makes New Year’s resolution in the arrival new year. What would you make as goal for this new year? 1. To help with the community2. To do more exercise and have more nutritious foods3. To have better time management v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
482 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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