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agree or disagree for the successful development of a country it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children five to ten years old than to spend money on universities v.2

agree or disagree for the successful development of a country it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children five to ten years old than to spend money on universities v. 2
The most prevalent aim of every society is development, which the governments put all their effort into achieving that. While many believe that this goal will obtain by allocating money to universities, others claim that investing on youngsters is the best way for developing a country. I firmly concede with the rearmost group for two main reasons, on which I will elaborate in the ensuing paragraphs. To begin with, by spending money on very young children, the society will have much more sophisticated workforce in the future that can play a great rule in the developing of a country. To be more specific, nowadays, in school children learn broad range of different topics, which many of them will not useful for their future life because it is not based on their passion and talent. If government spend money on children who are studying in elementary schools, administrators can perform some experiment to distinguish the talents of students. This will lead students to narrow down their studying topics and do not waste their time on unrelated class materials. This kind of students who just learn about their desired topics become more experienced and professional in less time than others. In this regard, a country with young and sophisticated workforce can overcome many hurdles and increase its income faster than other countries, which leads that country to development. Secondly, if the officials allocate money of very young children, this will have broader impact on society, which soar the probability of reaching the goal of development in a country. To be crystal clear, going to schools for children in obligatory in many countries, but further education is optional. Therefore, the impact of the investment in children will increase the chance of development. This is because more population can be affected by that. Moreover, the education of the children is more effective than that of the adults because that educational material stuck on the mind of children and can become one of the parts of their personality, which lasts for long years. In this regard, allocating budget for educating children will cover more members of the society in less age, which lead them to become more efficient parts of the community. By having more informed and educated people, a country' s development is more likely. In conclusion, expending money on very young pupils is clever choice for growth of the society. This is because not only the workforce of a country will become more sophisticated, but also more people will be impacted by this investment, which can help the development of a country.
The most prevalent aim of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
put all their effort into achieving that. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that this goal will obtain by allocating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to universities, others claim that investing on youngsters is the best way for developing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. I
firmly
concede with the rearmost group for two main reasons, on which I will elaborate in the ensuing paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, by spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
will have much more sophisticated workforce in the future that can play a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
in the developing of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To be more specific, nowadays, in school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn broad range of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
topics, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them will not useful for their future life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is not based on their passion and talent. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are studying in elementary schools, administrators can perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experiment to distinguish the talents of students. This will lead students to narrow down their studying topics and do not waste their time on unrelated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
materials. This kind of students who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
learn about their desired topics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more experienced and professional in less time than others. In this regard, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and sophisticated workforce can overcome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hurdles and increase its income faster than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which leads that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to development.

Secondly
, if the officials allocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, this will have broader impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, which soar the probability of reaching the goal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To be crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, going to schools for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in obligatory in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
further
education is optional.
Therefore
, the impact of the investment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will increase the chance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more population can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by that.
Moreover
, the education of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is more effective than that of the adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that educational material stuck on the mind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
one of the parts of their personality, which lasts for long years. In this regard, allocating budget for educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will cover more members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in less age, which lead them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more efficient parts of the community. By having more informed and educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is more likely.

In conclusion
, expending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
pupils is clever choice for growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the workforce of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more sophisticated,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
be impacted
by this investment, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay agree or disagree for the successful development of a country it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children five to ten years old than to spend money on universities v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
429 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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