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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Children should start working early in their life v.1

Children should start working early in their life v. 1
It goes without saying in this sophisticated and progressive world where we live, for adulthood period, preparing children and being independent is highly important. Recently there is a hot debate among people that this is necessary for children to work from early childhood, some people agree with this statement, but others stand in another side of the continuum and hold the view that this is a wrong decision. As far as I am concerned, the childhood is the only chance for anybody to care about playing and working is not for this period. The reasons to substantiate my viewpoint are elaborated hereunder. To begin with, childhood is a section of life that we are knowing the world, children are curious about life, and their concerns are limited to play and joy, in my opinion, this is the sweetest part of anybody’s life, there is too much time for them to learn, work and being responsible for their life but childhood is a time for searching, touching and smelling everything with pleasure. An example can drive this notion home when I remember my childhood I had very beautiful moments which never happen again in my life and no one expected of me to behave specially and I was so free and could be near my grandparents who lived for several years in my childhood time, in contrary if I worked, I wouldn’t to be near them and use for years that were alive and be more with them hence I lost those experiences with them. Moreover, psychologically speaking, if people cannot experience their childhood time as usual, they will look for it always even though they will be parents, like people who their behaviors and concerns are similar to children. Child psychologists believe that playing has a fundamental role for children and working damage to their psychological wellbeing, for an illustration working children who were stolen their childhood from them never analogous with children who play and enjoy themselves with their peers. Working is an obstacle for growing in a healthy way for any children, and we need laws for the prohibition of this great mistake. As a result, having considered the aforementioned arguments and instances into account, there is not an obvious and utilitarian consequence in working for children, to me, this matter not only causes psychological disorders but also do not let them satisfy with this season of life which is extremely different with other parts.
It goes without saying in this sophisticated and progressive world where we
live
, for adulthood period, preparing
children
and being independent is
highly
important
. Recently there is a hot debate among
people
that this is necessary for
children
to work from early childhood,
some
people
agree
with this statement,
but
others stand in another side of the continuum and hold the view that this is a
wrong
decision. As far as I
am concerned
, the childhood is the
only
chance for anybody to care about playing and
working
is not for this period. The reasons to substantiate my viewpoint
are elaborated
hereunder.

To
begin
with, childhood is a section of
life
that we
are knowing
the world,
children
are curious about
life
, and their concerns
are limited
to play and joy, in my opinion, this is the sweetest part of anybody’s
life
, there is too much
time
for them to learn, work and being responsible for their
life
but
childhood is a
time
for searching, touching and smelling everything with pleasure. An example can drive this notion home when I remember my childhood I had
very
beautiful
moments which never happen again in my
life
and no one
expected
of me to behave
specially and
I was
so
free and could be near my grandparents
who
lived
for several years in my childhood
time
, in contrary if I worked, I wouldn’t to be near them and
use
for years that were alive and be more with them
hence
I lost those experiences with them.

Moreover
,
psychologically
speaking, if
people
cannot experience their childhood
time
as usual, they will look for it always
even though
they will be parents, like
people
who
their behaviors and concerns are similar to
children
. Child psychologists believe that playing has a fundamental role for
children
and
working
damage to their psychological
wellbeing
, for an illustration
working
children
who
were stolen
their childhood from them never analogous with
children
who
play and enjoy themselves with their peers.
Working
is an obstacle for growing
in a healthy way
for any
children
, and we need laws for the prohibition of this great mistake.

As a result
, having considered the aforementioned arguments and instances into account, there is not an obvious and utilitarian consequence in
working
for
children
, to me, this matter not
only
causes psychological disorders
but
also
do not
let
them satisfy with this season of
life
which is
extremely
different
with other parts.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Children should start working early in their life v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
407 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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