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Agree or disagree At universities and college sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support v.2

Agree or disagree At universities and college sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support v. 2
Some people may hold the view that unversities should spend most of their money on libraries and classes because they are more vital for student. However, others may take an opposite viewpoint and believe that sport and social activities should receive equal financial support as libraries and classes. In my perspective, sports and social groups are as important as classes and universities should give a like amount of money to them. I will pinpoint the most outstanding points in the fallowing paragraphs. The first exquisite reason is that engaging in sports and social activities are essential for students' health. Students devote most of their time on study materials their professor give to them. These amount of study make students tired or may put them under pressure which is dangerous for their bodies and effect their performance. Therefore, attending in social activities and sports class will help students to release their tension and feel relax. After that, students can concentrate better on their study which is more effective than before. Moreover, sports help student to be healthier since they only study. Sports like footballs which people should run in that is very useful for student and make body become strong. So, sports will improve the strength of students’ body which is crucial for their future life and health. The further more subtle point worth mentioning is that students can make new friend and learn how to talk to other people. In the present era, the ability to communicate with other have a great influecne on people lives. Many people have the skill of becoming an employee but they can not talk to their colleuges. Studnets who attend in social and sport activities will learn how to iterate with othe people which is a necessary skill. Also, being in a part of group is a good opportunity for students to be more responsible. Every person have a responsibility in a group and if he do not complete his role, he will face consequences of his action. Hence, people will become more mature in their future life since they have relevant experience in the past. For instance, my friend was our goal keeper in college' s football team. His role was to look for the ball but he make a mistake and after that he was really embarrassed by his mistake. Therefore, he learn to no be fouce all of his time when he is on the field. To make a long story short, Based on the aforementioned argument, there are more advantageous for students if universities give equal money to group activities becaue not only make students more healthy, but also they lean how to communicate and be friend with others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may hold the view that
Possible spelling mistake found.
unversities
should spend most of their money on libraries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are more vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
However
, others may take an opposite viewpoint and believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
should receive equal financial support as libraries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
. In my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
are as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and universities should give a like amount of money to them. I will pinpoint the most outstanding points in the fallowing paragraphs.

The
first
exquisite reason is that engaging in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are essential for
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
devote most of their time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
materials their professor give to them. These amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
tired or may put them under pressure which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for their bodies and effect their performance.
Therefore
, attending in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to release their tension and feel relax. After that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can concentrate better on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
which is more effective than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to be healthier since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
like footballs which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should run in
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
body become strong.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the strength of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
body which is crucial for their future life and health.

The
further
more subtle point worth mentioning is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
new friend and learn how to talk to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In the present era, the ability to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
have a great
Possible spelling mistake found.
influecne
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of becoming an employee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can not talk to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
colleuges
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Studnets
who attend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
will learn how to iterate with
Possible spelling mistake found.
othe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which is a necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
Also
, being in a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to be more responsible. Every person
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "has".
have
a responsibility in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
and if he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "does", "did".
do
not complete his role, he will face consequences of his action.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will become more mature in their future life since they have relevant experience in the past.
For instance
, my friend was our goal keeper in
Possible spelling mistake found.
college&
#039; s football team. His role was to look for the ball
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "makes", "made".
make
a mistake and after that he was
really
embarrassed by his mistake.
Therefore
, he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "learns", "learned", "learnt".
learn
to
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
be
Possible spelling mistake found.
fouce
all of his time when he is on the field.

To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a long story short, Based on the aforementioned argument, there are more advantageous for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
if universities give equal money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
Possible spelling mistake found.
becaue
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
more healthy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they lean how to communicate and be
Consider using a past participle here: "friended".
friend
with others.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
57Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Mistakes

IELTS essay Agree or disagree At universities and college sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
449 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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