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a/d at universities and college, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. use specific reasons and examples to support your answers. v.2

a/d at universities and college, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. use specific reasons and examples to support your answers. v. 2
Human is a social animal. Human require different kinds of stimulus or exposures for their developments in social, emotional, personal, professional and many more aspects. Classes and libraries are inefficient for whole and sole development of human. So, I firmly do agree with the statement that " Universities and colleges should support sports and social activities along with classes and libraries. Firstly, there is something known as practical life experiences, which do not come by reading books or attending classes. There are many dogmas of life like determination, dedication, planning, problem solving, leadership, sportsman ship, group work, team work and many more. It is very difficult to cultivate these principles of life without getting exposure to real world. Sports and social activities provide a good platform to enhance such characteristics. Furthermore, sports and social activities are best way to communicate and to socialize. Science has proven that children, who enjoy sports and social functions, are more intelligent and good communicator than who do not participate in such activities. They have fantastic convincing power and can influence people easily. They are having more dynamic personality. Moreover, fitness is the most important part of life. Sports and many social activities demand a lot heavy body work. For instance, In Gujarati culture, India, there is a social festival known as " Navratri" . This festival is celebrated by playing a folk dance with folk music for three to four hours for nine days. This folk dance needs good endurance power of body, strength of muscles, flexibility of joints. It is one of the best agility exercises. So, people enjoy the festival as well as maintain the fitness. This benefit is not there in going libraries and classes. In nutshell, classes and libraries help to gain knowledge and degree but sports and social activities are the only means by which persons can learn the moral values of life.
Human is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
animal. Human require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of stimulus or exposures for their developments in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
, emotional, personal, professional and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more aspects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Classes
and libraries are inefficient for whole and sole development of human.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
firmly
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; Universities and colleges should support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and libraries.

Firstly
, there is something known as practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experiences, which do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
by reading books or attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
dogmas of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
like determination, dedication, planning, problem solving, leadership, sportsman ship, group work, team work and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to cultivate these principles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without getting exposure to real world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
provide a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
platform to enhance such characteristics.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
A determiner is probably missing here: "are the best".
are best
way to communicate and to socialize. Science has proven that children, who enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
functions, are more intelligent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communicator than
Did you mean "whom"?
who
do not participate in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. They have fantastic convincing power and can influence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
easily
. They are having more dynamic personality.

Moreover
, fitness is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
demand a lot heavy body work.
For instance
, In Gujarati culture, India, there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
festival known as
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
Navratri&quot
;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This festival
is celebrated
by playing a folk dance with folk music for three to four hours for nine days. This folk dance needs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
endurance power of body, strength of muscles, flexibility of joints. It is one of the best agility exercises.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
enjoy the festival
as well
as maintain the fitness. This benefit is not there in going libraries and classes.

In nutshell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and libraries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to gain knowledge and degree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
means by which persons can learn the moral values of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay a/d at universities and college, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. use specific reasons and examples to support your answers. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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