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after completion of schooling, the students are want to wok rather than study in college. give overall opinion and support by giving examples. v.2

after completion of schooling, the students are want to wok rather than study in college. give overall opinion and support by giving examples. v. 2
An increasing concern of many people around the world is that the students are want to start their earnings after the school days, rather than studying at university or higher studies to build their bright future. In my view, it is the wrong decision and this may affect several problems in the future. This essay will discuss both the issue and give an overall opinion. Getting higher standards of education will lead to a successful journey in their lives. To be more precise higher studies make the student more confident and can be offered by a great job in their future. Most of the studies are planning their career more comfortable. and moving on their long term goals. For example, according to the research study said that student is completing their double degree, this number had grown more from the last few decades. Whereas, some other pupils are more fascinating about earning amount after completing schooling and not go to colleges. In detail, minor students are not interested in university and also they want to start up their job. This will improve their communication, personal development and somehow awareness of society. For example, most of the students in vocational technology are more attracted to work. But this kind of work may not have any academic standard and no status in surroundings. To conclude, the minor student is attracted and belive that does work is better than studying and making the best path by getting into university. I mean that both depend on their abilities and capabilities, but more success path is studying at colleges.
An increasing concern of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their earnings after the school days,
rather
than studying at university or higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
to build their bright future. In my view, it is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
decision and this may affect several problems in the future. This essay will discuss both the issue and give an
overall
opinion.

Getting higher standards of education will lead to a successful journey in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To be more precise higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
more confident and can
be offered
by a great job in their future. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
are planning their career more comfortable.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
moving on their long term goals.
For example
, according to the research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is completing their double degree, this number had grown more from the last few decades.

Whereas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other pupils are more fascinating about earning amount after completing schooling and not go to colleges. In detail, minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not interested in university and
also
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
up their job. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their communication, personal development and somehow awareness of society.
For example
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in vocational technology are more attracted to work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this kind of work may not have any academic standard and no status in surroundings.

To conclude
, the minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is attracted
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that does work is better than studying and making the best path by getting into university. I mean that both depend on their abilities and capabilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more success path is studying at colleges.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay after completion of schooling, the students are want to wok rather than study in college. give overall opinion and support by giving examples. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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