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Advertising is influencing people more and more. Is this a positive or a negative trend? Give your own opinion and examples. v.8

Advertising is influencing people more and more. Is this a positive or a negative trend? Give your own opinion and examples. v. 8
Nowadays advertising has a lot of influence in society. I opine that it has adverse effects in the community, because when an individual is fascinated by seeing the advertisements and cannot resist buying the things which are unhealthy and it may deter the health of a human while others believe that it has a positive trend as well. To begin with, if a new company wants to survive, then the advertisement plays a crucial role in their sustainability so they are using many attracted ways to sell their products. In addition, they are using sports stars to create an impact among the audience because of these people are being influential and using the products which are unnecessary. For instance, soft drinks these days it is common to consume frequently than earlier as many citizens are trying to imitate their favourite star after seeing the advertisements that they do promotion. Consequently, it is creating a negative impact on an individual life by deteriorating his health when they drink such unhealthy products On the other hand, to communicate essential things to people such as swatch Bharath it is a positive trend to influence them by advertising on television. It is vital to create an impact on a few programs if we need to bring a good change in society. Moreover, by seeing such advertisements many people will participate in the events and make it successful. For example, these days, many celebrities have participated in swatch Bharath events which caused a lot of positive impact in the community as many people participated in these events and made the environment tidy. In conclusion, even though the advertisements have a negative phenomenon in the society when consuming unhealthy products, but it has a great positive impact to spread about a good event and reach to all the people which can bring change to the society.
Nowadays advertising has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
influence in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. I opine that it has adverse effects in the community,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when an individual
is fascinated
by seeing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
and cannot resist buying the things which are unhealthy and it may deter the health of a human while others believe that it has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
trend
as well
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
wants to survive, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
plays a crucial role in their sustainability
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
attracted ways to sell their products.
In addition
, they are using sports stars to create an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
among the audience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are being influential and using the products which are unnecessary.
For instance
, soft drinks these days it is common to consume
Use "(frequently)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
frequently
than earlier as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
citizens are trying to imitate their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
star after seeing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
that they do promotion.
Consequently
, it is creating a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on an individual life by deteriorating his health when they drink such unhealthy products

On the other hand
, to communicate essential things to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as swatch
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bharath
it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
trend to influence them by advertising on television. It is vital to create an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on a few programs if we need to bring a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Moreover
, by seeing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will participate in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it successful.
For example
, these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
celebrities have participated in swatch
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bharath
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
which caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
in the community as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
participated in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and made the environment tidy.

In conclusion
,
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
phenomenon in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
when consuming unhealthy products,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
to spread about a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
and reach to all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which can bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Advertising is influencing people more and more. Is this a positive or a negative trend? Give your own opinion and examples. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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