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Advertising is all around us it is an unavoidable part of our life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives. Do u agree or disagree? v.1

Advertising is all around us it is an unavoidable part of our life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives. Do u agree or disagree? v. 1
Nobody could indeed escape the power of advertising these days, whether it is commercial or online advertising. While some people believe that it is a positive part of our lives, I would argue that this is rarely the case. On the one hand, a few advertisements might provide useful information about products or services which are available in the market. For example, someone may be planning to book the holiday, but there is a bewildering range of possible destinations to choose from. As a result, such advertisements might help customers to make the right choice of holiday resort to meet their needs. From my perspective, some tourist brochures helpful when I was looking for a quiet place to take my mind off problems. In some cases, advertising might be a positive aspect of our lives. On the other hand, however, I consider that advertising is largely intrusive. Firstly, it is intrusive because we are surrounded by the images and sounds of advertisements, disturbing our privacy. For example, I regularly receive telesales marketing calls on my phone when I was busy or try reading a book. Secondly, people are easily swayed by advertisements to buy goods impulsively. To be specific, advertising agencies often try to make their products appeared on tv shows and in this way persuading the customer to buy their products. These things might not have the same quality as an advertisement, which makes the customer feel disappointed or cheated. In conclusion, I believe that most advertising has a negative impact on our lives, in terms of stress and the creation of false dreams of fulfilments,
Nobody could
indeed
escape the power of advertising these days, whether it is commercial or online advertising. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, I would argue that this is rarely the case.

On the one hand, a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
provide useful information about products or services which are available in the market.
For example
, someone may be planning to book the holiday,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is a bewildering range of possible destinations to choose from.
As a result
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the right choice of holiday resort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their needs. From my perspective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tourist brochures helpful when I was looking for a quiet place to take my mind off problems. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the other hand
,
however
, I consider that advertising is
largely
intrusive.
Firstly
, it is intrusive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
are surrounded
by the images and sounds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, disturbing our privacy.
For example
, I
regularly
receive telesales marketing calls on my phone when I was busy or try reading a book.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
easily
swayed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
impulsively
. To be specific, advertising agencies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their products appeared on
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and in this way persuading the customer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their products. These things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not have the same quality as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the customer feel disappointed or cheated.

In conclusion
, I believe that most advertising has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, in terms of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and the creation of false dreams of
Possible spelling mistake found.
fulfilments
,
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Advertising is all around us it is an unavoidable part of our life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives. Do u agree or disagree? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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