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Advertising is all around us, it is an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

Advertising is all around us, it is an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. v. 2
Many people wonder about advertisement. Some people think that it has negative impact in our life. However, others said it has been playing as positive effect on this world. This is not an easy essay to be answered, but I will look at this issue. Why advertisement has been playing a negative effect in our life? Of Course for several reasons: firstly, it motivates the psychological point in everyone, and women in particular. They will run to buy this advertised product especially if it’s from cosmetic roof, just to show their beauty to men, which may lead to negative effects of too much sexual attention. Secondly, you can sit comfortably with your family and suddenly the telephone is ringing, but it’s nothing important, it’s just another company try to convince you to buy one of their products. It is a real intrusive example of advertisement. Lastly, sometimes you do not have the financial ability to buy something, but with these new methods of advertisement, you will run to buy it, which will affect your budget. On the other hand, there are some good sides to advertising. For instance, it compares the prices of many companies which benefit the consumer. Besides, it really opens our vision to see more products which we do not knowit unless the TV or Radio advertised them. In addition to, it breaks our daily routine and allows us to see new faces and learn the language better with the help of the daily updates they deliver through advertisement. In conclusion, as we can see there are many aspects to this essay. I feel that we gain no benefits at all from advertisement, it plays on minds of people buy more things that they do not need it at all.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
wonder about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact in our life.
However
, others said it has been playing as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on this world. This is not an easy essay to
be answered
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I will look at this issue.

Why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has been playing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect in our life?
Of Course
for several reasons:
firstly
, it motivates the psychological point in everyone, and women
in particular
. They will run to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
this advertised product
especially
if it’s from cosmetic roof,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their beauty to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, which may lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of too much sexual attention.
Secondly
, you can sit
comfortably
with your family and
suddenly
the telephone is ringing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it’s nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
try to convince you to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
one of their products. It is a real intrusive example of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
Lastly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
you do not have the financial ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
something,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with these new methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
, you will run to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it, which will affect your budget.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sides to advertising.
For instance
, it compares the prices of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
which benefit the consumer.
Besides
, it
really
opens our vision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
more products which we do not
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowit
unless the TV or Radio advertised them.
In addition
to, it breaks our daily routine and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
new faces and learn the language better with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the daily updates they deliver through advertisement.

In conclusion
, as we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects to this essay. I feel that we gain no benefits at all from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
, it plays on minds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
more things that they do not need it at all.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Advertising is all around us, it is an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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