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Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. v.6

Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. v. 6
As the society is developing, people are concerned about a greater number of issues, advertising is without a doubt one of which that opens a controversial question as to whether it has positive or negative impacts on our lives. This essay will elaborate on the mentioned phenomenon and present my position. On the one hand, it is obvious that advertising has brought many benefits for businesses as well as consumers. As for businesses, it is their main way to approach prospective customers and to successfully launch their new products in the market. In fact, to reach a large audience, deep-pocketed companies, Samsung, for example, spend a huge of money on advertising on prime time television. Therefore, advertisements are instrumental in promoting their new offer to the market. In return, this may generate higher profit and bolster their image which may give them a competitive edge over their competitors. With regards to the consumers, advertising provides them with fully detailed information on both the goods and the services. Hence, they can make a clear comparison of certain aspects of the product such as price and function before deciding to purchase things. On the other hand, widespread advertising can also have some negative consequences in our lives. Firstly, since advertisements have been ubiquitous in the era of technology, people are bombarded with all kinds of ads. Consequently, such information overload has become a nuisance to many people, especially when they are interrupted by ads while watching favourite shows. Additionally, advertising motivates consumers to buy goods impulsively. If they are easily swayed by advertisements, they may purchase things that they do not really need. These products are of little use and can be disposed of so far. As a consequence, it gradually leads to a throw-away lifestyle which has caused many negative impacts on our society. In conclusion, it is true that our life is surrounded by advertisements of various types. Despite the existence of some opinions in favour of the benefits of it, I believe that exaggerate advertisements do more harm than good. In my opinion, this is both advantages and disadvantages as well.
As the society is developing,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are concerned
about a greater number of issues, advertising is without a doubt one of which that opens a controversial question
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This essay will elaborate on the mentioned phenomenon and present my position.

On the one hand, it is obvious that advertising has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for businesses
as well
as consumers. As for businesses, it is their main way to approach prospective customers and to
successfully
launch their new products in the market. In fact, to reach a large audience, deep-pocketed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, Samsung,
for example
, spend
The phrase 'a huge of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a huge of
money on advertising on
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
prime time
television.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are instrumental in promoting their new offer to the market. In return, this may generate higher profit and bolster their image which may give them a competitive edge over their competitors.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the consumers, advertising provides them with
fully
detailed information on both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and the services.
Hence
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
comparison of certain aspects of the product such as price and function
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deciding to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things.

On the other hand
, widespread advertising can
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Firstly
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have been ubiquitous in the era of technology,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are bombarded
with all kinds of ads.
Consequently
, such information overload has become a nuisance to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
when they
are interrupted
by ads while watching
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
.
Additionally
, advertising motivates consumers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
impulsively
. If they are
easily
swayed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things that they do not
really
need. These products are of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and can
be disposed
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far. As a consequence, it
gradually
leads to a throw-away lifestyle which has caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on our society.

In conclusion
, it is true that our life
is surrounded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
of various types. Despite the existence of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opinions in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the benefits of it, I believe that exaggerate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
do more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. In my opinion, this is both advantages and disadvantages
as well
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
352 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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