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The first chart below shows how energy is used in an avarage Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information bu selecting and reporting the main features, and make com v.1

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an avarage Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
A technological improvement over the past few decades has altered the way people communicate with each other. Communication over a long distance and instant communication wherever someone is, has definitely been a big advantage of this improvement. In this essay I will examine how relationships have been affected by technology, and then I will assess whether it is a beneficial or detrimental development. Communication at a distance between people from different countries has made communication easier by different apps. For example, FaceTime allows kids studying overseas to communicate with each other, despite the distance separating them. This has actually encouraged parents to chat more with their children, as it is easy and convenient for communication. Nevertheless, sometimes, when you are on the street and there is an emergency due to which someone needs to find you, a phones provides a good medium to do so, as they can just text and call you via different apps, like WhatsApp. This allows people to communicate in a more speedy and convenient manner. However, due to the development of phones and other devices, people have started to spend more time ‘communicating’ with their phones. For example, you can actually observe that when a family come together for a meal, you can probably find the teenagers looking at, and playing with their phones. Face-to-face contact is gradually becoming less usual, as people are no longer willing to talk to others in person, but spend more time facing their phones. In conclusion, interaction has made easier and more convenient due to the development of technology, like phones. However, it is also because of this, that people are spending less time talking to others face-to-face. Despite this drawback, technology generally has had positive impacts on the way we communicate over the past few decades. Therefore, it has had a positive impact on communication due to its convenience and ease.
A technological improvement over the past few decades has altered the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Communication
over a long distance and instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
wherever someone is, has definitely been a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
advantage of this improvement. In this essay I will examine how relationships have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by technology, and then I will assess whether it is a beneficial or detrimental development.

Communication at a distance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
easier by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
apps.
For example
, FaceTime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
kids studying overseas to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, despite the distance separating them. This has actually encouraged parents to chat more with their children, as it is easy and convenient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
.
Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, when you are on the street and there is an emergency
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which someone needs to find you, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
provides a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
medium to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, as they can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
text and call you via
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
apps, like WhatsApp. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
in a more speedy and convenient manner.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
devices,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to spend more time ‘communicating’ with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
For example
, you can actually observe that when a family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together for a meal, you can
probably
find the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
looking at, and playing with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. Face-to-face contact is
gradually
becoming less usual, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are no longer willing to talk to others in person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
spend more time facing their phones.

In conclusion
, interaction has made easier and more convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the development of technology, like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
However
, it is
also
because of this
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spending less time talking to others face-to-face. Despite this drawback, technology
generally
has had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on the way we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communicate
over the past few decades.
Therefore
, it has had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to its convenience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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IELTS essay The first chart below shows how energy is used in an avarage Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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