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Advertising encourages people to buy in quantity rather to consider quality. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Advertising encourages people to buy in quantity rather to consider quality. v. 1
The surging number of ads have a significant impact on our daily lives. It inspires the buyers to purchase in bulk instead of encouraging quality. In my opinion, I partially disagree with the statement and the reasons for my view is in the ensuing paragraphs. The first and foremost explanation is ads have always been tempted people through various discount deals and attracting offers, which manipulate them to buy the large quantity. For instance, many megastores, or different fashion brands such as Guess, Tommy Hilfiger give 50% off on purchase of $500 or buy one get one free offer on their product to promote their brands. But, the real concept is to compel the consumer to purchase the items in bulk, which may not use in the future. Moreover, colourful images, hoardings and endorsement by celebrities on specific products are also alternative ways to enforce the consumer. For example, Angelina Jolly was promoting MAC's make-up through ads, and I immediately bought it. Now, it's just occupying space in my cupboard. However, it is undeniable that nonetheless, some ads motivate us to buy excellent products, despite being expensive. Also, ads are very vital in terms of keeping up to date regarding new products in the market. Furthermore, certain ads tell us to use glassware for kitchen purpose rather than using cheap plastics. Hence, some adverts may convey an excellent message to buy quality among people. To conclude from the arguments mentioned, adverts promote quantity, but they tell us about quality, too. It is our responsibility to understand our needs and not swayed by adverts.
The surging number of ads have a significant impact on our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It inspires the buyers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
in bulk
instead
of encouraging quality. In my opinion, I
partially
disagree with the statement and the reasons for my view is in the ensuing paragraphs.

The
first
and foremost explanation is ads have always
been tempted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
through various discount deals and attracting offers, which manipulate them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the large quantity.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
megastores
, or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fashion brands such as Guess, Tommy Hilfiger give 50% off on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of $500 or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
one free offer on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to promote their brands.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the real concept is to compel the consumer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the items in bulk, which may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in the future.

Moreover
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
images, hoardings and endorsement by celebrities on specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
also
alternative ways to enforce the consumer.
For example
, Angelina Jolly was promoting MAC's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
-up through ads, and I immediately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
occupying space in my cupboard.

However
, it is undeniable that nonetheless,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ads motivate us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, despite being expensive.
Also
, ads are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital in terms of keeping up to date regarding new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the market.
Furthermore
, certain ads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
glassware for kitchen purpose
rather
than using
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
plastics.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverts may convey an excellent message to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
quality among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
from the arguments mentioned, adverts promote quantity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us about quality, too. It is our responsibility to understand our needs and not swayed by adverts.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Advertising encourages people to buy in quantity rather to consider quality. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
263 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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