Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advatages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v.20

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advatages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 20
Because of these days needed many things have changed dramatically and one of these things are museums. Compared with the past, museums didn’t take any charge for admission, it was completely free. Nowadays, there is a rising number of museums which take money from people to let them enter. This change led to many things some of it good, and the others we can say it’s really bad. Firstly, there are many advantages of this process. The main benefit from taking fees from people who want to visit museums is providing museums with a strong financial base let them upgrade their facilities in several ways, such as bring new pictures, statues and very rare items to their show halls. Another important factor in that is the museums Depts. These days, museums need more and more guards, cleaners and qualified experts to give people information about museum items, these stuffs don’t work for free, of course, they need money to take care of their families, for this reason particularly museums have found in taking charge for admission a good source of money that they need. On the other hand, this decision has led to many serious problems. The most noticeable issue is the decreasing in the number of museum visitors, this problem appears between ordinary people, families who have too many members and children who don’t have any source of money. These groups of people have found difficulties to pay this fees, and if they compared the costs of visit museum and the cost of their daily needed, they need will have the priority here. In conclusion, the need of this source of money is very important for museums make developments in their services and to continue provide the ones that are already existing. Unfortunately, that makes people desire to visit museums almost disappear and make issues to whom used to visit. In my opinion, you can’t make the museum work without money, you also can’t also you can’t take a lot of money from people to let them in. I suggest that museums make plans for people who love to visit too many times per month, and for big families they have to give deals. Finally, for those who visit rarely, museums must take a small amount of money from them to encourage them to come again.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of these days needed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
and one of these things are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. Compared with the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
didn’t take any charge for admission, it was completely free. Nowadays, there is a rising number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
which take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them enter. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
led to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, and the others we can say it’s
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.

Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of this process. The main benefit from taking fees from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
is providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
with a strong financial base
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them upgrade their facilities in several ways, such as bring new pictures, statues and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rare items to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
halls.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in
that is
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
Possible spelling mistake found.
Depts
. These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more and more guards, cleaners and qualified experts to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
items, these stuffs don’t work for free,
of course
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to take care of their families,
for this reason
particularly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
have found in taking charge for admission a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that they need.

On the other hand
, this decision has led to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
serious problems. The most noticeable issue is the decreasing in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
visitors, this problem appears between ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
members and children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
don’t have any source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. These groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have found difficulties to pay this fees, and if they compared the costs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
and the cost of their daily needed, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
will have the priority here.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of this source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
developments in their services and to
Probably a preposition is missing after 'continue'.
continue provide
the ones that are already existing. Unfortunately, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
desire to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
almost disappear and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
issues to whom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
. In my opinion, you can’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
work without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, you
also
can’t
also
you can’t take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them in. I suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
plans for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times per month, and for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
families they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give deals.
Finally
, for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
rarely,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from them to encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
again.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advatages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 20

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
387 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts