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Advertisement plays a major role on TV in developed market economies. Despite the benefits of such information, many people are critical of the role of TV advertising. Write an essay analyzing the positive and negative effects of TV advertisement. v.2

Advertisement plays a major role on TV in developed market economies. Despite the benefits of such information, many people are critical of the role of TV advertising. Write an essay analyzing the positive and negative effects of TV advertisement. v. 2
Advertisement as a media that impacts on the public to buy any products through images or transmission of messages. It also plays a major role on TV in developed market economies. Despite the benefits of such information, many people are critical of the role of TV advertising. Therefore, advertising on TV has both advantages and disadvantages. Nobody denies the positive aspects of advertising. First of all, it includes pictures, symbols, movements, colours, texts, music or effects to get the attention to the customers. By showing the positive images of products helps to increase value of products and convince the customers to buy. Secondly, it is informative. It is the fastest and shortest channel which helps consumers to get to know new products. The producers usually bring their new products on advertising on TV to announce TV viewers its appearance. The viewers who is also the consumers are informed a new choice which support their purchase decision. Moreover, advertising can help create more jobs. The unemployed can find jobs through recruitment advertising easily, and so their life is improved. Nevertheless, TV advertising also has some limitations. Firstly, the attention on programs you are watching is interrupted and this distracts your concentration and the thrill on the show. You have no choice but waiting advertisement completed if you want to continue watching the show. Lying the customers is the second impact that the producers exaggerate features their products or make vague and ambiguous claims in sound good. Of course, any negative features of the products won' t be mentioned. Finally, when you purchase a product, you must pay for cost of machinery and packing. To sum up, TV advertising exists both convenience and inconvenience in developing market economies. However, the customers should consider carefully about prices, information as well as quality of products when purchasing.
Advertisement as
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a medium" or simply "media"?
a media
that impacts on the public to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
through images or transmission of messages. It
also
plays a major role on TV in developed market economies. Despite the benefits of such information,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are critical of the role of TV advertising.
Therefore
, advertising on TV has both advantages and disadvantages.

Nobody denies the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of advertising.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it includes pictures, symbols, movements,
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
, texts, music or effects to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
. By showing the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
images of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to increase value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and convince the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
Secondly
, it is informative. It is the fastest and shortest channel which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
consumers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. The producers
usually
bring their new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
on advertising on TV to announce TV viewers its appearance. The viewers who
Did you mean "am", "are", "aren"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'viewers' should be used.
is
also
the consumers
are informed
a new choice which support their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
decision.
Moreover
, advertising can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
create more jobs. The unemployed can find jobs through recruitment advertising
easily
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their life is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.

Nevertheless
, TV advertising
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limitations.
Firstly
, the attention on programs you are watching
is interrupted
and this distracts your concentration and the thrill on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
. You have no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
waiting advertisement completed if you want to continue watching the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
. Lying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
is the second impact that the producers exaggerate features their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
vague and ambiguous claims in sound
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
Of course
, any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
features of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
Possible spelling mistake found.
won&
#039; t
be mentioned
.
Finally
, when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay for cost of machinery and packing.

To sum up, TV advertising exists both convenience and inconvenience in developing market economies.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
should consider
carefully
about prices, information
as well
as quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
when purchasing.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Advertisement plays a major role on TV in developed market economies. Despite the benefits of such information, many people are critical of the role of TV advertising. Write an essay analyzing the positive and negative effects of TV advertisement. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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