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Some people only have pets to not feel lonely, for example, but they don’t always take proper care of them. Do you think people who don’t always take proper care of their pets should be allowed to keep them? v.1

Some people only have pets to not feel lonely, for example, but they don’t always take proper care of them. Do you think people who don’t always take proper care of their pets should be allowed to keep them? v. 1
It is a contentious topic among thinkers that raising the cost of fossil fuels is the most effective method of tackling the increasing traffic and environmental issues. In this essay, I completely disagree with the price hike of fossil fuel as the best available solution because of the normal individual’s increased salary packages and lack of concern for these issues. People are affluent enough due to high takeaway salaries and can afford petrol remarkably easily. This is because people often have enough money plus petrol never took a toll on their personal finances. As evident from editorial research published in the November edition of TOI, engineers who fall under the higher tax slabs consumed more petrol despite recent price hikes by government. Moreover, metropolitan cities with these engineers were found to have poorer air quality index. The other major reason is the lack of concern for congestion and environmental problems. We have been tailored to be more concerned about problems which appear more threatening and eminent like terrorism and thus, we either repudiate issues such as global warming or undermine problems such as congestion. To give you a clear example, eight out of ten colleagues in my team are less worried about resolving the sanitation or traffic problems in Pune than tackling religious zealots entering India from other neighbour countries. In conclusion, notwithstanding the price hike of petroleum products, the use of vehicles is not going to budge as the public is more concerned of other media-hyped threats compared to detrimental effects of global warming or hindrances due to traffic snarls, besides, they have sufficient payouts to cater the surge in prices.
It is a contentious topic among thinkers that raising the cost of fossil fuels is the most effective method of tackling the increasing traffic and environmental issues. In this essay, I completely disagree with the
price
hike of fossil fuel as the best available solution
because
of the normal individual’s increased salary packages and lack of concern for these issues.

People
are affluent
enough
due to high takeaway salaries and can afford petrol
remarkably
easily
. This is
because
people
often
have
enough
money plus petrol never took a toll on their personal finances. As evident from editorial research published in the November edition of
TOI
, engineers who fall under the higher tax slabs consumed more petrol despite recent
price
hikes by
government
.
Moreover
, metropolitan cities with these engineers
were found
to have poorer air quality index.

The other major reason is the lack of concern for congestion and environmental
problems
. We have
been tailored
to be more concerned about
problems
which appear more threatening and eminent like terrorism and
thus
, we either repudiate issues such as global warming or undermine
problems
such as congestion. To give you a
clear
example, eight out of ten colleagues in my team are less worried about resolving the sanitation or traffic
problems
in Pune than tackling religious zealots entering India from other
neighbour
countries.

In conclusion
, notwithstanding the
price
hike of petroleum products, the
use
of vehicles is not going to budge as the public is more concerned of other media-hyped threats compared to detrimental effects of global warming or hindrances due to traffic snarls,
besides
, they have sufficient payouts to cater the surge in
prices
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people only have pets to not feel lonely, for example, but they don’t always take proper care of them. Do you think people who don’t always take proper care of their pets should be allowed to keep them? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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