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Adults do less exercise nowadays. Some think that people can be encouraged to live healthy lives through sporting events such as the Olympics or the World Cup. Others think that there are better ways to encourage adults for exercise. Discuss both views an v.3

Adults do less exercise nowadays. Some think that people can be encouraged to live healthy lives through sporting events such as the Olympics or the World Cup. Others think that there are better ways to encourage adults for exercise. 3
To paraphrase a popular saying: a healthy spirit requires a healthy body. As such, a healthy lifestyle encompasses nutritious food, a balanced work ethic together with regular excercise. Opinions, however, vary in regards to what motivates people to engage in regular excercise. Popular large-scale recurring sport events that are broadcast on tv and other media are said to be a driver for people to engage in sports. On the other hand, many say there ought to be superior motives that encourages people to excercise apart from these relative rare sport events. While it is true that big sport events like the Olympics, the World Cup or especially tennis tournaments like Wimbledon, spark interest in actively picking up these sports, it is often a short-lived experience and the enthusiasm fades rather quickly. I remember when tennis giants Boris Becker and Steffi Graf won the Wimbledon Tennis Championships, it created a massive interest in the tennis sport, which was hitherto considered somewhat elitist and aloof. However Becker and Graf brought this sport to the masses, who picked up a racket for the first time in their lives. Nonetheless, the interest in the sport diminished as soon as the tournament was over and only a small percentage continued to practice the sport regularly. Indeed, to encourage adults to keep practicing a sport seems to require additional stimuli apart from televised popular sporting events. Advertisements from government agencies promoting sports as engaging in social events and practicing a healthy lifestyle, is an effective way of keeping people engaged and attracting more people to pick up some kind of work out. Furthermore, having a vigorous sport curriculum in schools is likely to produce a populace more mindful and committed to regularly engage in sports. In conclusion, I concur that encouragement to engage in excercise should not depend on the popularity of big sport events only, but requires a steady stream of advertisement promoting the various benefits that comes with being an active member in a sports club or your local gym.
To paraphrase a popular saying: a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
spirit requires a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
body. As such, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle encompasses nutritious food, a balanced work ethic together with regular
Possible spelling mistake found.
excercise
. Opinions,
however
, vary
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
what motivates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engage
in regular
Possible spelling mistake found.
excercise
. Popular large-scale recurring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
that are broadcast on
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
and other media
are said
to be a driver for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engage
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
say there ought to be superior motives that encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
excercise
apart from these relative rare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

While it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
like the Olympics, the World Cup or
especially
tennis tournaments like Wimbledon, spark interest in
actively
picking up these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
a short-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
experience and the enthusiasm fades
rather
quickly
. I remember when tennis giants Boris Becker and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Steffi
Possible spelling mistake found.
Graf
won the Wimbledon Tennis Championships, it created a massive interest in the tennis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, which was hitherto considered somewhat elitist and aloof.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
Becker and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Graf
brought this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
to the masses, who picked up a racket for the
first
time in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Nonetheless, the interest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
diminished as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as the tournament was over and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
percentage continued to practice the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
regularly
.

Indeed
, to encourage adults to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
practicing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
seems to require additional stimuli apart from televised popular sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. Advertisements from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
agencies promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as engaging in social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and practicing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle, is an effective way of keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
engaged and attracting more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to pick up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of work out.
Furthermore
, having a vigorous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
curriculum in schools is likely to produce a populace more mindful and committed to
regularly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engage
in sports.

In conclusion
, I concur that encouragement to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engage
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
excercise
should not depend on the popularity of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
requires a steady stream of advertisement promoting the various benefits that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with being an active member in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
club or your local gym.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Adults do less exercise nowadays. Some think that people can be encouraged to live healthy lives through sporting events such as the Olympics or the World Cup. Others think that there are better ways to encourage adults for exercise. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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