Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Adults do less exercise nowadays. Some think that people can be encouraged to live healthy lives through sporting events such as the Olympics or the World Cup. Others think that there are better ways to encourage adults for exercise. Discuss both views an v.3

Adults do less exercise nowadays. Some think that people can be encouraged to live healthy lives through sporting events such as the Olympics or the World Cup. Others think that there are better ways to encourage adults for exercise. 3
To paraphrase a popular saying: a healthy spirit requires a healthy body. As such, a healthy lifestyle encompasses nutritious food, a balanced work ethic together with regular excercise. Opinions, however, vary in regards to what motivates people to engage in regular excercise. Popular large-scale recurring sport events that are broadcast on tv and other media are said to be a driver for people to engage in sports. On the other hand, many say there ought to be superior motives that encourages people to excercise apart from these relative rare sport events. While it is true that big sport events like the Olympics, the World Cup or especially tennis tournaments like Wimbledon, spark interest in actively picking up these sports, it is often a short-lived experience and the enthusiasm fades rather quickly. I remember when tennis giants Boris Becker and Steffi Graf won the Wimbledon Tennis Championships, it created a massive interest in the tennis sport, which was hitherto considered somewhat elitist and aloof. However Becker and Graf brought this sport to the masses, who picked up a racket for the first time in their lives. Nonetheless, the interest in the sport diminished as soon as the tournament was over and only a small percentage continued to practice the sport regularly. Indeed, to encourage adults to keep practicing a sport seems to require additional stimuli apart from televised popular sporting events. Advertisements from government agencies promoting sports as engaging in social events and practicing a healthy lifestyle, is an effective way of keeping people engaged and attracting more people to pick up some kind of work out. Furthermore, having a vigorous sport curriculum in schools is likely to produce a populace more mindful and committed to regularly engage in sports. In conclusion, I concur that encouragement to engage in excercise should not depend on the popularity of big sport events only, but requires a steady stream of advertisement promoting the various benefits that comes with being an active member in a sports club or your local gym.
To paraphrase a popular saying: a
healthy
spirit requires a
healthy
body. As such, a
healthy
lifestyle encompasses nutritious food, a balanced work ethic together with regular
excercise
. Opinions,
however
, vary
in regards to
what motivates
people
to
engage
in regular
excercise
. Popular large-scale recurring
sport
events
that are broadcast on
tv
and other media
are said
to be a driver for
people
to
engage
in
sports
.
On the other hand
,
many
say there ought to be superior motives that encourages
people
to
excercise
apart from these relative rare
sport
events
.

While it is true that
big
sport
events
like the Olympics, the World Cup or
especially
tennis tournaments like Wimbledon, spark interest in
actively
picking up these
sports
, it is
often
a short-
lived
experience and the enthusiasm fades
rather
quickly
. I remember when tennis giants Boris Becker and
Steffi
Graf
won the Wimbledon Tennis Championships, it created a massive interest in the tennis
sport
, which was hitherto considered somewhat elitist and aloof.
However
Becker and
Graf
brought this
sport
to the masses, who picked up a racket for the
first
time in their
lives
. Nonetheless, the interest in the
sport
diminished as
soon
as the tournament was over and
only
a
small
percentage continued to practice the
sport
regularly
.

Indeed
, to encourage adults to
keep
practicing a
sport
seems to require additional stimuli apart from televised popular sporting
events
. Advertisements from
government
agencies promoting
sports
as engaging in social
events
and practicing a
healthy
lifestyle, is an effective way of keeping
people
engaged and attracting more
people
to pick up
some
kind of work out.
Furthermore
, having a vigorous
sport
curriculum in schools is likely to produce a populace more mindful and committed to
regularly
engage
in sports.

In conclusion
, I concur that encouragement to
engage
in
excercise
should not depend on the popularity of
big
sport
events
only
,
but
requires a steady stream of advertisement promoting the various benefits that
comes
with being an active member in a
sports
club or your local gym.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Adults do less exercise nowadays. Some think that people can be encouraged to live healthy lives through sporting events such as the Olympics or the World Cup. Others think that there are better ways to encourage adults for exercise. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts