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Adams Maryam: A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exerciseand avoids stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own kn v.2

Adams Maryam: A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exerciseand avoids stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? 2
Ade-Akin: Good diet, exercise and stress management are common characteristics of an healthy person. There are many other ways people can stay healthy which includes going on hiking trips, having regular check ups and getting regular massage. These methods will be elaborated in the following paragraphs. Firstly, people can stay fit by going on regular hiking trips. Visits to the seaside, mountains and remote locations allow people explore the environment and these allow them the opportunity to burn calories and stay fit. For instance, a man who regularly spends his leisure time at home watching TV when compared to another who spends his time going to new places cannot be said to be fit. Exploring new areas helps in keeping one fit. Secondly, regular medical check ups in the hospital ensures we have healthy status. In other words, check ups most times show issues with the body like high blood pressure, low blood pressure and cancer. For example, a renowned Nigerian goal keeper was diagnosed of cancer though a random check up which ensured be began treatment and beat the illness before it became terminal. Lastly, an unorthodox way for people to stay fit is through massage. The various massages available today like the Nuhu and deep tissue massage helps with managing stress which in turn leads to improved wellbeing. For example, most Nigerian men albeit secretly incorporate massage into their weekend routine which help relieve stress from the weeks activities. In conclusion, people can stay healthy by engaging in hiking, going for regular check ups and getting massages. regularly.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ade-Akin
:

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
diet, exercise and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
management are common characteristics of
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
person. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
which includes going on hiking trips, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
check
ups and getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
massage. These methods will
be elaborated
in the following paragraphs.

Firstly
,
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people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
by going on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
hiking trips. Visits to the seaside, mountains and remote locations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
explore the environment and these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them the opportunity to burn calories and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
.
For instance
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who
regularly
spends his leisure time at home watching TV when compared to another who spends his time going to new places cannot
be said
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
. Exploring new areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in keeping one fit.

Secondly
,
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regular
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
check
ups in the hospital ensures we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
status.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
check
ups most times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
issues with the body like high blood pressure, low blood pressure and cancer.
For example
, a renowned Nigerian goal keeper
was diagnosed
of cancer though a random
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
check
up which ensured be
Consider using a past participle here: "begun".
began
treatment and beat the illness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it became terminal.

Lastly
, an unorthodox way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
is through massage. The various massages available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
like the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nuhu
and deep tissue massage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
with managing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
which in turn leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
.
For example
, most Nigerian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
albeit
secretly
incorporate massage into their weekend routine which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from the weeks activities.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
by engaging in hiking, going for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
check
ups and getting massages.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
regularly
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Adams Maryam: A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exerciseand avoids stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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