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According to a recent study, the more time people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings. Should we worry about the effect this is having on social interaction or should we see the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities worldwide? v.4

According to a recent study, the more time people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings. Should we worry about the effect this is having on social interaction or should we see the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities worldwide? v. 4
During the last decades the number of individuals, that use the World Wide Web as a necessary tool of communication, has increased dramatically. Indeed, much more persons communicate with each other through the Net. It has been a worrying trend for those who enjoy the face-to-face interaction. However, others have seen it as a positive change. To begin with, the Web is a great way of communication between people. For example, only by using the Internet a person can talk with those who are living in a different part of the world. Thus, the distance does not matter for it. Additionally, it is possible to send an email to any person on the planet and that letter the receiver will get in a second after it has been sent. Therefore, the Net allows making the communication faster. By connecting to the Web from any place, a person can access any information available there. For instance, read a favourite newspaper or find a financial report of a listed company in ASX. On the other hand, while people with passion and enthusiasm using the Net, their time of social communication has significantly reduced. This trend has a negative effect on individual’s health and their life. For example, those who spend too much time on the Internet sit most of that time and, as a result, they may become obese. Moreover, this obesity might be a cause of diabetes in the future. Another drawback is that the internet users have the lackings of face-to-face interaction, which leads to lonely personal life without having a partner and children. To sum up, it is evident that the Internet has brought advantages as well as disadvantages to the person’s life. I firmly believe that individuals as a whole have faced much more benefits than drawbacks from using the Internet as a method of communication because an individual can balance the time they spend on the web and leave the time on other things.
During the last decades the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the World Wide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Web
as a necessary tool of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
, has increased
dramatically
.
Indeed
, much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
through the Net. It has been a worrying trend for those who enjoy the face-to-face interaction.
However
, others have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
it as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Web
is a great way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by using the Internet a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can talk with those who are living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
part of the world.
Thus
, the distance does not matter for it.
Additionally
, it is possible to
Consider using "email".
send an email to
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
on the planet and that letter the receiver will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in a second after it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
.
Therefore
, the Net
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
faster. By connecting to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Web
from any place, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can access any information available there.
For instance
, read a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
newspaper or find a financial report of a listed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in ASX.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with passion and enthusiasm using the Net, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
has
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. This trend has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
health and their life.
For example
, those who spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the Internet sit most of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and,
as a result
, they may become obese.
Moreover
, this obesity might be a cause of diabetes in the future. Another drawback is that the internet users have the
Possible spelling mistake found.
lackings
of face-to-face interaction, which leads to lonely personal life without having a partner and children.

To sum up, it is evident that the Internet has brought advantages
as well
as disadvantages to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
life. I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
as a whole have faced much more benefits than drawbacks from using the Internet as a method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
can balance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they spend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
web
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay According to a recent study, the more time people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings. Should we worry about the effect this is having on social interaction or should we see the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities worldwide? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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