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Academic Task 3 Rainfall Line Chart ​Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words v.1

Academic Task 3 Rainfall Line Chart ​
The growing rates of crime are a phenomena affecting most nations these days. There exist both social and economic causes for this. Consequently, some critical political decisions need to be made right away. There are at least three main reasons for this increasing amount of crime that is causing so much trouble around the world. The main cause is unemployment, since it is pushing poor people into crime. For instance, when a father or a mother are not able to afford feeding their children, they cannot find another solution but to get involved in criminal activities. Another important reason is the lack of police force, the number of people enrolling in Police Academies is decreasing faster every day. A policeman for example, earns around 1. 000 pounds a month, what it is not enough to maintain a whole family. To solve this problem governments need to take action. The most effective solution to deal with unemployment should be generating new jobs through the construction of roads, since no professional workers are needed and people with no related experience can be hired. Furthermore, if governments invest more money on Policemen salaries, more people will be interested in starting a career in the police force. In conclusion, the increasing crime activity that is destroying the secure lifestyle that we all want and need can be reduced to zero. However, to do so, better salaries and job opportunities are desperately needed. If every person had a job with a good salary, we would not have to deal with crime anymore.
The growing rates of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
are a phenomena affecting most nations these days. There exist both social and economic causes for this.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
critical political decisions need to
be made
right away.

There are at least three main reasons for this increasing amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
that is
causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much trouble around the world. The main cause is unemployment, since it is pushing poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
For instance
, when a father or a mother are not able to afford
If 'afford' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to feed".
feeding
their children, they cannot find another solution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in criminal activities. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason is the lack of police force, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enrolling in Police Academies is decreasing faster every day. A policeman
for example
, earns around 1. 000 pounds a month, what it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to maintain a whole family.

To solve this problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
need to take action. The most effective solution to deal with unemployment should be generating new jobs through the construction of roads, since no professional workers
are needed
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with no related experience can
be hired
.
Furthermore
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
invest more money on Policemen salaries, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be interested
in starting a career in the police force.

In conclusion
, the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
activity
that is
destroying the secure lifestyle that we all want and need can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to zero.
However
, to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, better salaries and job opportunities are
desperately
needed. If every person had a job with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary, we would not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
anymore.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Academic Task 3 Rainfall Line Chart ​

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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