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2066 You should sayWhen and where you wentWhy you took the tripWhat you did and saw on the tripAnd explain how you felt about the trip v.1

2066 You should sayWhen and where you wentWhy you took the tripWhat you did and saw on the tripAnd explain how you felt about the trip v. 1
It is considered by some people that history is an essential subject, while there are other who Science and technology is more essential for students than History. In my opinion, both of these subjects have equal importance in their own respective field. I think the statement has no relevance at all. Since both the subject's deal with topics that are poles apart from each other. On the one hand, many think that History is a prominent part of our lineage and everyone should know about it. There had been so many important events in the past which affects us till today. For example, the world war had the greatest impact on all over the world and later on due to this some important events and amendments were created because of which people are living without war. If someone wants to learn more about world war, then there is no better place than a history class in school or university. History gives us a definition of today. It tells us about things happened before that lead to the present situation. On the other hand, Science and technology are told to be a prominent part and more important than history. Science is a complete different subject and it has its own importance in terms of innovation. We know that applied science is helping scientists with coming up with solutions to world problems. For example, Since has helped in creating cures for Cancer, Polio and many other diseases which once were thought that there is no cure for. In conclusion, to learn about one's lineage history come's as an important subject, but when we talk about innovation then Science come's to the rescue.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is an essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, while there are
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "others"?
other
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and technology is more essential for students than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
. In my opinion, both of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
have equal importance in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
respective field. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the statement has no relevance at all.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
both the subject's deal with topics that are poles apart from each other.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is a prominent part of our lineage and everyone should know about it. There had been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in the past which affects us till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
war had the greatest impact on all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and later on due to this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and amendments
were created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are living without war. If someone wants to learn more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
war, then there is no better place than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in school or university.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
gives us a definition of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
us about things happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that lead to the present situation.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and technology are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
to be a prominent part and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
is a complete
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and it has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
importance in terms of innovation. We know that applied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is helping scientists with coming up with solutions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
problems.
For example
, Since has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in creating cures for Cancer, Polio and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other diseases which once were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that there is no cure for.

In conclusion
, to learn about one's lineage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
Do not use 's with a verb. Did you mean "comes"?
come's
as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when we talk about innovation then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
Do not use 's with a verb. Did you mean "comes"?
come's
to the rescue.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay 2066 You should sayWhen and where you wentWhy you took the tripWhat you did and saw on the tripAnd explain how you felt about the trip v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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