Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

A poor infrastructure hinders under-developed countries from progressing and modernizing. Some people think that this should be the first problem tackled by foreign aid. v.3

A poor infrastructure hinders under-developed countries from progressing and modernizing. Some people think that this should be the first problem tackled by foreign aid. v. 3
The paucity of resources such as financial aid and development plan are hindering the infrastructure constructions in many of the poor countries. While few individuals feel this should be the fundamental problem solved by foreign investment, this essay will explain why I completely agree with this notion. To embark on, the cardinal focus of infrastructure development needs to begin with construction of roads. This is because they connect major cities with nearby suburbs and countryside. For instance, if there are good roadways, it will be easy to commute. As a result, trade such as cargo will grow rapidly; generating employment and consistent revenue. Furthermore, there should be more of multi-purpose buildings in major towns and cities. The primary advantages of such buildings are that it creates opportunities to run local businesses or invite global brands to start their franchises, provide leisure and entertainment facilities. Another pivotal basic structure in any under-developed or developing economies is public transport. This is important because the majority of population in these countries are financially poor. As a consequence, they can not afford to own a private vehicle. Therefore, government should attract foreign direct investments to construct and operate transport systems like metro rail, trams, and tubes in collaboration with central government. Moreover, to a certain extent, foreign investments should be permitted in real estate for construction of basic housing, which improves the quality of life index of a country. In conclusion, from my perspective, foreign capital should be encouraged in poor countries for development of infrastructure such as road ways, multi-utility buildings, public transportation - by investing in real estate as well. Due to this, a country' s infrastructure can be enhanced to improve overall standard of living.
The paucity of resources such as financial aid and development plan are hindering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
constructions in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. While few individuals feel this should be the fundamental problem solved by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
investment, this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion.

To embark on, the cardinal focus of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
development needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with construction of roads. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they connect major cities with nearby suburbs and countryside.
For instance
, if there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
roadways, it will be easy to commute.
As a result
, trade such as cargo will grow
rapidly
; generating employment and consistent revenue.
Furthermore
, there should be more of multi-purpose buildings in major towns and cities. The primary advantages of such buildings are that it creates opportunities to run local businesses or invite global brands to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their franchises, provide leisure and entertainment facilities.

Another pivotal basic structure in any under-developed or developing economies is public transport. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the majority of population in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
financially
poor. As a consequence, they can not afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a private vehicle.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
direct investments to construct and operate transport systems like metro rail, trams, and tubes in collaboration with central
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Moreover
, to a certain extent,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
investments should
be permitted
in real estate for construction of basic housing, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the quality of life index of a country.

In conclusion
, from my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
capital should
be encouraged
in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
such as road ways, multi-utility buildings, public transportation
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
by investing in real estate
as well
. Due to this, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
can
be enhanced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
overall
standard of living.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay A poor infrastructure hinders under-developed countries from progressing and modernizing. Some people think that this should be the first problem tackled by foreign aid. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts