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A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to their social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.1

A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to their social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion? v. 1
Smoking is injurious to health and everyone is aware of this fact. Smoking in common areas is now banned in many nations and people, who want to smoke, can use any place but public places. I fully concur with the notion of prohibiting smoking in public places and making it against the law. This essay will discuss a healthy nation is the need of the hour and breathing in fresh air is everyone's right. As per an old adage 'Health is Wealth'. Therefore, the most important consideration is public health. Smoking not only have an adverse effect on active smokers but also harms passive smokers. If it is good for no one, then there is no point, allowing it in public places. Hence, it should be prohibited to smoke in common places. As per the survey of 'The Times of India' 20% of the passive smokers face health issues for no other reasons but passive smoking. It is irrefutable to say that people who do not smoke, do not even like breathing in the air filled with smoke. Despite the fact that everyone has freedom to do what they want yet their right seems to violate. As they cannot point out and ask the one, who is smoking, to leave the place. Therefore, if it will be made illegal, then people who smoke themselves will be vigilant about it. For example, if a law is made then it becomes the responsibility of the active smokers to check the place before smoking. To conclude, if people do not smoke, they will become healthy. Apart from this, it is also beneficial for the common people who do not smoke. Therefore, making smoking illegal in public places is good for all.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
is injurious to health and everyone is aware of this fact.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
in common areas is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
banned in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. I
fully
concur with the notion of prohibiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and making it against the law. This essay will discuss a healthy nation is the need of the hour and breathing in fresh air is everyone's right.

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
per an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
adage 'Health is Wealth'.
Therefore
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
consideration is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have an adverse effect on active smokers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
harms passive smokers. If it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for no one, then there is no point, allowing it in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Hence
, it should
be prohibited
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
in common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. As per the survey of 'The Times of India' 20% of the passive smokers face health issues for no other reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
passive smoking.

It is irrefutable to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
, do not even like breathing in the air filled with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
. Despite the fact that everyone has freedom to do what they want
yet
their right seems to violate. As they cannot point out and ask the one,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
Therefore
, if it will
be made
illegal, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
themselves will be vigilant about it.
For example
, if a law
is made
then it becomes the responsibility of the active smokers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
smoking.

To conclude
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
, they will become healthy. Apart from this, it is
also
beneficial for the common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
.
Therefore
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
illegal in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for all.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to their social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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