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A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.32

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion? v. 32
It is often argued that, with the advent of urbanization and rise in economic standards, people are now no longer influenced by moral values. Personally, I am strongly convinced with this view. In my opinion, many people around the world now associate wealth with social prestige. In this essay, I shall examine a number of studies to justify the presented viewpoint. To begin with, ever since the recent industrial revolution, television and mass media have played a crucial role in shaping our society. Media often portrait wealthy people as a significant role model, their assets and lifestyle are displayed as the symbol of luxury and success. Owning to this, a majority of the world’s population, is now convinced that, a person’s worth in society is now a measure of the owned assets. In order to achieve this fake sense of superiority, many people often buy products which are far above their affordable range. As a result, a majority of the world's population is overwhelmed by financial debts. For example, a recent study published by Oxford University illustrated that, people with financial restrictions and lower living standards, often feels isolated from their society and are more likely to experience mental distress. In addition, many people often commit serious criminal offence such as credit card fraud, corruption, in order to keep up with the high profile lifestyles. This is borne out by a study conducted by the University of Melbourne which demonstrated that, more than 50% of credit card frauds committed are the result of their need to keep up with higher social standards In conclusion, from the above stated reasoning, I am inclined to say that, people no longer value moral characteristic rather they are more fascinated by wealth.
It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
argued that, with the advent of urbanization and rise in economic standards,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
no longer influenced by moral values.
Personally
, I am
strongly
convinced with this view. In my opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
associate wealth with social prestige. In this essay, I shall examine a number of studies to justify the presented viewpoint.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, ever since the recent industrial revolution, television and mass media have played a crucial role in shaping our society. Media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
portrait wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as a significant role model, their assets and lifestyle
are displayed
as the symbol of luxury and success. Owning to this, a majority of the world’s population, is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
convinced that, a person’s worth in society is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
a measure of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
assets. In order to achieve this fake sense of superiority,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
products which are far above their affordable range.
As a result
, a majority of the world's population
is overwhelmed
by financial debts.
For example
, a recent study published by Oxford University illustrated that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with financial restrictions and lower living standards,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
feels isolated from their society and are more likely to experience mental distress.

In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
commit serious criminal
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
such as credit card fraud, corruption, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the high profile lifestyles. This
is borne
out by a study conducted by the University of Melbourne which demonstrated that, more than 50% of credit card frauds committed are the result of their need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with higher social
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
standards


In conclusion
, from the above stated reasoning, I
am inclined
to say that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
no longer value moral characteristic
rather
they are more fascinated by wealth.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion? v. 32

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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