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A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. v.41

A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. v. 41
We live in a world in which everyone is judgmental to the extent that one often makes inconsequential remarks in regards to things that does not affect one in the least bit, such as if other people are driving a Lamborgini or if they are carrying a Hermes bag. It seems as though old fashioned values such as honour, generosity, and trust do not amount to much in today's condemnatory world. Apropos of the statement, I am in part accordance with it. It is inarguable that a staggering number of people only consider about how their connection can bring advantages to them when befriending someone. For instance, one might think twice before making friends with someone who is kind but impoverished, as there is no benefit that is likely to stem from the connection. On the flip side, ingratiating with someone who displays ostentatious wealth might be more auspicious for one in the future. Similarly, one from a wealthy family might feel hesitant to befriend someone who is struggling to make ends meet, seeing as the latter is not on the same level with one in terms of social status. Also, there is no guarantee that one will not be on the receiving end of bullying if one befriends someone of a lower status. Case in point, kids from my school will not let Jaycea hear the end of it because she is friends with Elaine, a driver's daughter, notwithstanding the fact that Elaine is trustworthy and dependable. On the contrast, I also believe that it is unreasonable to stereotype the whole society based on the behaviour and way of thinking of some people. Like the aforementioned case in which Jaycea is willing to befriend Elaine despite being bullied, it shows that it is possible for some people to value trust and generosity over social status. To sum up, while it is commonplace for people to hold a higher value of material possessions and social status in this overcritical world, there are also people who value old fashioned values more and they are not to be overlooked.
We
live
in a world in which everyone is judgmental to the extent that one
often
makes
inconsequential remarks
in regards to
things that does not affect one in the least bit, such as if other
people
are driving a
Lamborgini
or if they are carrying a Hermes bag. It seems as though
old fashioned
values such as
honour
, generosity, and trust do not amount to much in
today
's condemnatory world. Apropos of the statement, I am in part accordance with it.

It is inarguable that a staggering number of
people
only
consider about how
their connection can bring advantages to them when befriending
someone
.
For instance
, one might
think
twice
before
making friends with
someone
who
is kind
but
impoverished, as there is no benefit
that is
likely to stem from the connection. On the flip side, ingratiating with
someone
who
displays ostentatious wealth might be more auspicious for one in the future.

Similarly
, one from a wealthy family might feel hesitant to befriend
someone
who
is struggling to
make
ends
meet
, seeing as the latter is not on the same level with one in terms of social status.
Also
, there is no guarantee that one will not be on the receiving
end
of bullying if one befriends
someone
of a lower status. Case in point, kids from my school will not
let
Jaycea
hear the
end
of it
because
she is friends with Elaine, a driver's daughter, notwithstanding the fact that Elaine is trustworthy and dependable.

On the contrast, I
also
believe that it is unreasonable to stereotype the whole society based on the
behaviour
and way of thinking of
some
people
. Like the aforementioned case in which
Jaycea
is willing to befriend Elaine despite
being bullied
, it
shows
that it is possible for
some
people
to
value
trust and generosity over social status.

To sum up, while it is commonplace for
people
to hold a higher
value
of material possessions and social status in this overcritical world, there are
also
people
who
value
old fashioned
values
more and
they are not to
be overlooked
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. v. 41

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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