Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music, film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no public or government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music, film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no public or government restrictions on what they do. with this statement? v. 2
It has been contended by some governmental intervention into creative content, such as music or films, should be discouraged to preserve absolute liberty of creators who can express authentic artistic values without restraints. I wholeheartedly disagree with this statement for two reasons which will be elaborated as follows. Unregulated content creation can jeopardize national and international security. Such is its power to mould people’s opinions that anything which does not undergo a thorough process of censorship can be employed by villains to spread negativity. Assume that an international criminal organization can impersonate a movie company to only produce films which form the discriminatory viewpoint of the authority among the audience. Untruthful conspiracies will therefore be made contagious by these products, which might engender a rise in national violence or cross-border conflicts. Excessive freedom of creation can result in a biased lens of the world. For example, dystopia, one of the all-time favourite themes, often portrays a world manipulated by dictators, in which people would dwell in severe misery. This, however, does not reflect the reality, or even a possible future prospect, because international governments are making a genuine endeavour to maintain transparent, and impartial authority. Such content which distorts the truth can lead individuals to place their belief wrongly, and become potential victims of negativity. They will ultimately form a detrimentally partial idea of the world. In conclusion, not only can uncontrolled artistic products put public security at stake, but they can also materialize an unfair sense of trust. For this reason, I strongly incentivize creative content, which safeguard the world, as well as create an informed population.
It has
been contended
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
governmental intervention into creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
, such as music or films, should
be discouraged
to preserve absolute liberty of creators who can express authentic artistic values without restraints. I
wholeheartedly
disagree with this statement for two reasons which will
be elaborated
as follows.

Unregulated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
creation can jeopardize national and international security. Such is its power to
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s opinions that anything which does not undergo a thorough process of censorship can
be employed
by villains to spread negativity. Assume that an international criminal organization can impersonate a movie
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
produce films which form the discriminatory viewpoint of the authority among the audience. Untruthful conspiracies will
therefore
be made
contagious by these products, which might engender a rise in national violence or cross-border conflicts.

Excessive freedom of creation can result in a biased lens of the world.
For example
, dystopia, one of the all-time
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
themes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
portrays a world manipulated by dictators, in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would dwell in severe misery. This,
however
, does not reflect the reality, or even a possible future prospect,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are making a genuine
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
to maintain transparent, and impartial authority. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
which distorts the truth can lead individuals to place their belief
wrongly
, and become potential victims of negativity. They will
ultimately
form a
detrimentally
partial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of the world.

In conclusion
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can uncontrolled artistic products put public security at stake,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can
also
materialize an unfair sense of trust.
For this reason
, I
strongly
incentivize creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
, which safeguard the world,
as well
as create an informed population.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music, film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no public or government restrictions on what they do. with this statement? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts