Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there maybe as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.33

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there maybe as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. v. 33
It is an undeniable fact that the number of vehicles has increased enormously and is continually rising, not only in Britain, but worldwide as well. Some people think that in order to control this influx of cars on roads, alternative means of transportation should be introduced. I completely agree with this point of view and following are the reasons to believe so. Firstly, I believe that with the surge of more vehicles on roads, the environment is getting polluted day by day. For instance, a number of studies have been conducted and published showing the increase in environmental pollution in the form of air and noise, over the past few decades. This menace of pollution is because of the huge amount of fuel combusted when people use more vehicles individually for their commute, rather than using a single source of public transport, maybe a train or a bus, which could easily help reduce the burden of pollutants from the environment. Secondly, if the governments impose certain rules for the purchase of cars, this might help in removing the threat of superiority from the society. For example, in many countries globally, owning one's own car is considered a symbol of high status. This becomes the reason of creating an inferiority complex, particularly in the underdeveloped countries, like Pakistan and Bangladesh, where most people cannot afford such luxuries. This difference ultimately leads to disharmony and agony among the individuals of the society. But, if other modes of commute are improvised and the sale and purchase of cars controlled, this reason of conflict could be easily removed, because both the rich and the poor would have the same option left for travelling. To conclude, if the state form laws and regulations regarding car ownership and put an extra effort in the improvement of other sources of transport, the air and noise pollution, which is the biggest problem being faced due to the huge number of vehicles could be controlled. Moreover, a sense of equality could also be introduced, if all the people get to move around in one and the same source of transport.
It is an undeniable fact that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
has increased
enormously
and is
continually
rising, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in Britain,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
worldwide
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that in order to control this influx of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on roads, alternative means of transportation should
be introduced
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view and following are the reasons to believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

Firstly
, I believe that with the surge of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
on roads, the environment is getting polluted day by day.
For instance
, a number of studies have
been conducted
and published showing the increase in environmental pollution in the form of air and noise, over the past few decades. This menace of pollution is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the huge amount of fuel combusted when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
individually
for their commute,
rather
than using a single source of public transport, maybe a train or a bus, which could
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the burden of pollutants from the environment.

Secondly
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
impose certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, this might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in removing the threat of superiority from the society.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries globally, owning one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is considered
a symbol of high status. This becomes the reason of creating an inferiority complex,
particularly
in the underdeveloped countries, like Pakistan and Bangladesh, where most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot afford such luxuries. This difference
ultimately
leads to disharmony and agony among the individuals of the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, if other modes of commute
are improvised
and the sale and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
controlled, this reason of conflict could be
easily
removed,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both the rich and the poor would have the same option
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for travelling.

To conclude
, if the state form laws and regulations regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
ownership and put an extra effort in the improvement of other sources of transport, the air and noise pollution, which is the biggest problem
being faced
due to the huge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
could
be controlled
.
Moreover
, a sense of equality could
also
be introduced
, if all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
around in one and the same source of transport.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there maybe as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. v. 33

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts